As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho and Westside sections 3/28/09
Has anyone noticed that the service industry is on its last legs, or is it just me? Oh, this decline began long ago, but it is usually not until it seeps into our everyday lives that one takes notice.
Take gas stations. Not that I lived in Mayberry, but we did have our own version of Goober in town. When we pulled into Mr. Pierce's Marathon gas station, he always walked out to the car with a smile on his face, pumped the gas, washed the front and back windows and checked the oil. "Put it on the tab, Mrs. S.?" he would ask my mother. A friendly thumbs up and off we went.
Nowadays, you are lucky if your card makes a clean swipe at the self-serve gas pump. Unfortunate customers get the "SEE ATTENDANT" message and are forced to walk inside to clear up the problem. No longer is it self-serve as I find myself fourth in line behind the 12-pack of Bud and quick-pick purchasers. "What pump are you on, ma'am?" asks the cashier. "I don't know; it's behind number two over there on the outside," I answer as my geometry class post traumatic stress syndrome kicks in.
If that full tank of gas is taking you to the airport and you are not a regular traveler, heaven help you. If you think a courteous desk clerk is going to clickety-click away on her keyboard and find you a window seat, think again. The check-in counter at the airport is all self-check, individual kiosks now. You almost need an orientation class to know how to work the touch screen, get a seat and check your own bag. No, they don't make you carry it to the plane, that is unless you aren't checking it, then, yes, you do carry it with you, stow it and carry it off when you get to your destination. Ah, the good old days when the hardest thing to do was choose between beef tips and noodles or chicken Parmesan. Care for some peanuts?
They are even trying to get us to be our own cashier at the groceries and discount stores. The short little self check-outs look so cute and easy until you try one. Don't let the fact that they are always empty deceive you into thinking it is a quick alternative to the human checkers, and if you have tried this, you already know. Am I right?
"Remove your bag. Place item in the bag. Remove item from bag. There are remaining items in bag," says the automated monotone voice as you are adding and removing soup cans and bananas just to make it shut up. I thought you needed a union card to be a cashier.
My favorite has to be the full-on/non-human contact grocery experience. At Giant food stores on the East Coast, shoppers can now grab hand-held scanners upon entering the store along with their cart and bags – paper, plastic or the self-sufficient canvas ones from home. They proceed through the aisles scanning and bagging their groceries as they shop with a running total to show how much they are spending. When finished, they return the scanner to the rapid check-out docking station and pay with a credit card. It all sounds so efficient, so perfect, but what's to stop someone from skipping the scanning step and going straight to bagging? "That Rid-X is just too expensive to pay for this week, honey. Just bag it."
We've been doing our own banking at the ATMs and online for a while now. We have even become our own stock brokers, thanks to the Internet. The next thing you know, we will no longer send our kids to school but instead turn into teachers and keep them home. Oh, wait, home schooling is already here.
I say bring back the kinder, gentler people to the service industry. Where are the Goobers when you really need them?
Quote of the Week: "You can trust your car to the man who wears the star." – Texaco, 1962.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Don't Touch My Grocery Store!
As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho and Westside sections 3/21/09
I rarely complain and if you read this column you know that is true. Given the current state of the economy there are plenty of reasons floating around out there to whine about. Pick an issue, any issue. Will Rio Rancho’s educational crown jewel, Cleveland High School actually open this fall? How about the current state of the economy and Obama’s bail out plan? Or what about the whole AIG mess? I leave that ink to the many others who are better at arguing than I am.
As if the current state of affairs isn’t enough, one of my pet peeves has resurfaced again, tipping the apple cart and I have to get it off my chest: They rearranged the Albertsons grocery store on Ridgecrest again.
Except for discontinuing my Kozy Shack 4-pack crème caramel and replacing it with rice pudding six months ago, there is nothing more aggravating than walking into my regular grocery store and not recognizing it. Stepping one foot inside the sliding glass door, it doesn’t take long to figure out something is different. Oh, I have been through this cataclysmic upheaval many times over the years and the adjustment never gets any easier. It will be months before I can get back up to speed with the new layout. Where are the maps?
Grocery stores rearrange their interiors every once in awhile for a variety of reasons. Are they trying to create a consistent look throughout all of their chain of stores? It’s a practical idea but not necessary. Are they trying to mix things up so shoppers notice and hopefully purchase new products they normally would not purchase? No dice. I’ve been shopping off of the same list for fifteen years and its working for me. The new things I am noticing are not necessities and therefore only make my party streamer receipt at the check out much longer and costlier than need be.
During this new orientation period of aisle navigation, no longer does the phrase “run in and pick up a few things” apply. I know I am not the only one who takes twice as long to get through their list. I notice all of the other shoppers seem to be wandering around doe-eyed like lost toddlers at a Rolling Stones concert. They push their carts in slow motion, sheepishly choosing an aisle then stopping abruptly when they realize what used to be the coffee aisle is now the cereal aisle and their beloved Folgers crystals has been replaced with bright orange boxes of Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch.
Once I adopted a “go with the flow” attitude, my world got brighter. If I am going to be lost in my grocery store, at least they had the Bruce Hornsby music playing on the PA system during my last visit. Secondly, have you seen the new Chocolate Drizzle Baby Cakes in the bakery section? You want to buy them just for the name itself - chalk one up for the marketing department. Plus, I am collecting those Monopoly game pieces. I am only two away from winning the Chrysler.
So, enough complaining. Like I said, just look around, there’s a whole potpourri of subject matter to be miserable about. Let’s make our own personal stimulus plans and think of five things to be happy about. Here are mine:
1. The women’s team won on Celebrity Apprentice (3 for 3).
2. The two piece yellow and orange fringe ensemble Julianne wore on Dancing with the Stars will be available at Target this summer.
3. Delma Petrullo is the new deputy mayor of Rio Rancho, go Delma.
4. Not having to order a venti latte at Starbucks because a cup of joe at 7-11 tastes better anyhow.
5. Albertsons Baby Cakes.
What puts a smile on your face? Share the funny.
Quote of the Week: “If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet.
I rarely complain and if you read this column you know that is true. Given the current state of the economy there are plenty of reasons floating around out there to whine about. Pick an issue, any issue. Will Rio Rancho’s educational crown jewel, Cleveland High School actually open this fall? How about the current state of the economy and Obama’s bail out plan? Or what about the whole AIG mess? I leave that ink to the many others who are better at arguing than I am.
As if the current state of affairs isn’t enough, one of my pet peeves has resurfaced again, tipping the apple cart and I have to get it off my chest: They rearranged the Albertsons grocery store on Ridgecrest again.
Except for discontinuing my Kozy Shack 4-pack crème caramel and replacing it with rice pudding six months ago, there is nothing more aggravating than walking into my regular grocery store and not recognizing it. Stepping one foot inside the sliding glass door, it doesn’t take long to figure out something is different. Oh, I have been through this cataclysmic upheaval many times over the years and the adjustment never gets any easier. It will be months before I can get back up to speed with the new layout. Where are the maps?
Grocery stores rearrange their interiors every once in awhile for a variety of reasons. Are they trying to create a consistent look throughout all of their chain of stores? It’s a practical idea but not necessary. Are they trying to mix things up so shoppers notice and hopefully purchase new products they normally would not purchase? No dice. I’ve been shopping off of the same list for fifteen years and its working for me. The new things I am noticing are not necessities and therefore only make my party streamer receipt at the check out much longer and costlier than need be.
During this new orientation period of aisle navigation, no longer does the phrase “run in and pick up a few things” apply. I know I am not the only one who takes twice as long to get through their list. I notice all of the other shoppers seem to be wandering around doe-eyed like lost toddlers at a Rolling Stones concert. They push their carts in slow motion, sheepishly choosing an aisle then stopping abruptly when they realize what used to be the coffee aisle is now the cereal aisle and their beloved Folgers crystals has been replaced with bright orange boxes of Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch.
Once I adopted a “go with the flow” attitude, my world got brighter. If I am going to be lost in my grocery store, at least they had the Bruce Hornsby music playing on the PA system during my last visit. Secondly, have you seen the new Chocolate Drizzle Baby Cakes in the bakery section? You want to buy them just for the name itself - chalk one up for the marketing department. Plus, I am collecting those Monopoly game pieces. I am only two away from winning the Chrysler.
So, enough complaining. Like I said, just look around, there’s a whole potpourri of subject matter to be miserable about. Let’s make our own personal stimulus plans and think of five things to be happy about. Here are mine:
1. The women’s team won on Celebrity Apprentice (3 for 3).
2. The two piece yellow and orange fringe ensemble Julianne wore on Dancing with the Stars will be available at Target this summer.
3. Delma Petrullo is the new deputy mayor of Rio Rancho, go Delma.
4. Not having to order a venti latte at Starbucks because a cup of joe at 7-11 tastes better anyhow.
5. Albertsons Baby Cakes.
What puts a smile on your face? Share the funny.
Quote of the Week: “If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Readers Offer Helpful Advice
As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho and Westside sections 3/14/09
Last week's column on words of wisdom struck a chord with many readers. I offered up a brief collection of serious and lighthearted advice on life and posed the question "What advice would you give a younger you? What do you know today that you wish someone had told you years ago?"
The questions drew an enormous response from loyal readers who were willing to share their personal knowledge of life's little secrets. And isn't that what life is all about, helping each other along the way?
I think these readers embody the true human spirit that we all possess — graciousness and the desire to help one another. Their advice will make the bumpy road of life a little smoother for the rest of us and I thank them all for contributing to this column.
• "Words of wisdom from my dad, Joseph Kaufman: 'Never judge a person by the car they drive or the shoes they wear.' Boy, I wished I had listened to him more than I did." —Debra K.
• "For your 1/4 cup dilemma, just use a ruler and count all the lines — short and long, thick and thin — then divide by 2." — Lou M.
• "When I was growing up my grandmother always said, 'Fool me once shame on you ... fool me twice shame on me.' Of course, I being a small child didn't understand. Now I get it loud and clear, and live by it." — Marian D.
• "I liked this topic. It hits home since I've been reflecting on things since I got my AARP card this week." — Bud D., (age 49).
• "I read your column with interest. Thank you for your fresh approach. My mom Myra Jelinek passed away 5 years ago at the age of 89. She left her friends and family with many pearls of wisdom. Among them: Every kick's a boost. Don't worry about things that may never happen. All things work together for good. Blessed be nothing. Don't put it down, put it away. I miss my mom daily and even as I write this, she makes me smile." — Lucy H.
• "Love this article. In our house, what goes in the laundry goes in the wash. I also charge $5.00 to those who consistently throw inside-out clothing into the laundry. The only things that I can pass on in terms of wisdom are the following: Everything is relative. There is always more than one way. That is all that I know and all that I have learned in these 50 years." — Diane L.
• "Love your column this week. My advice to younger self is that when you remember good advice your parents or friends gave that worked, write it down. Over time you will forget, sometimes when you need it most! Also remember to plunge into life with gusto instead of being afraid. It's a lot more fun, a better learning experience, and in the end there never will be a right or wrong way to have lived. There will always be unforeseen tragedies that you can't protect yourself from, so do what you enjoy." —Priscilla W.
• "This is a really good article. I'd argue that asking this question doesn't need to wait and that we should engage continuously in self-reflection and question. That's the only way we can make relatively contemporaneous self-correction that can heal relationships and make us a better person." —Brad C.
Go forth and prosper enlightened readers and I will see you here next week.
Quote of the Week: "You don't pay back, you pay forward." — Robert Heinlein's (author) answer to Jerry Pournell (author) when asked how he could repay him for his valued guidance over the years.
Last week's column on words of wisdom struck a chord with many readers. I offered up a brief collection of serious and lighthearted advice on life and posed the question "What advice would you give a younger you? What do you know today that you wish someone had told you years ago?"
The questions drew an enormous response from loyal readers who were willing to share their personal knowledge of life's little secrets. And isn't that what life is all about, helping each other along the way?
I think these readers embody the true human spirit that we all possess — graciousness and the desire to help one another. Their advice will make the bumpy road of life a little smoother for the rest of us and I thank them all for contributing to this column.
• "Words of wisdom from my dad, Joseph Kaufman: 'Never judge a person by the car they drive or the shoes they wear.' Boy, I wished I had listened to him more than I did." —Debra K.
• "For your 1/4 cup dilemma, just use a ruler and count all the lines — short and long, thick and thin — then divide by 2." — Lou M.
• "When I was growing up my grandmother always said, 'Fool me once shame on you ... fool me twice shame on me.' Of course, I being a small child didn't understand. Now I get it loud and clear, and live by it." — Marian D.
• "I liked this topic. It hits home since I've been reflecting on things since I got my AARP card this week." — Bud D., (age 49).
• "I read your column with interest. Thank you for your fresh approach. My mom Myra Jelinek passed away 5 years ago at the age of 89. She left her friends and family with many pearls of wisdom. Among them: Every kick's a boost. Don't worry about things that may never happen. All things work together for good. Blessed be nothing. Don't put it down, put it away. I miss my mom daily and even as I write this, she makes me smile." — Lucy H.
• "Love this article. In our house, what goes in the laundry goes in the wash. I also charge $5.00 to those who consistently throw inside-out clothing into the laundry. The only things that I can pass on in terms of wisdom are the following: Everything is relative. There is always more than one way. That is all that I know and all that I have learned in these 50 years." — Diane L.
• "Love your column this week. My advice to younger self is that when you remember good advice your parents or friends gave that worked, write it down. Over time you will forget, sometimes when you need it most! Also remember to plunge into life with gusto instead of being afraid. It's a lot more fun, a better learning experience, and in the end there never will be a right or wrong way to have lived. There will always be unforeseen tragedies that you can't protect yourself from, so do what you enjoy." —Priscilla W.
• "This is a really good article. I'd argue that asking this question doesn't need to wait and that we should engage continuously in self-reflection and question. That's the only way we can make relatively contemporaneous self-correction that can heal relationships and make us a better person." —Brad C.
Go forth and prosper enlightened readers and I will see you here next week.
Quote of the Week: "You don't pay back, you pay forward." — Robert Heinlein's (author) answer to Jerry Pournell (author) when asked how he could repay him for his valued guidance over the years.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Now I Know: Follow the Recipe, Check Pockets Before Washing
As appeard in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho and Westside sections 03/07/09
I know I am not old enough to be looking back at life and being philosophical about mistakes I may have made and what I would do differently given the chance at a “do-over,” that will come some thirty years from now after I make the really big ones. But still I think everyone can help shed different perspectives on this journey at every stage in life, so I pose this question to you now: What advice would you give a younger you? What do you know today that you wish someone had told you years ago?
Where do I begin? There are deep life lessons and the not-so-deep-but-still-important ones. Like “check pockets before washing children’s pants so not to wash the stowaway iPod because even when it dries out, it still doesn’t work.” That is sage advice, and I can attest to it first hand. After six months I am still apologizing on that one.
Pay Closer Attention in Math Class
I would tell a younger me to pay more attention in math class. Algebra won’t come into play in life that often for most of us, but measuring will. Learn how to read a ruler beyond the quarter marks so you don’t have to say things like “its four inches and three short lines past the second thick one.” Yes, there are those of you out there who measure like that. I’m not naming names, but you know who you are.
Follow the Recipe
Let me just get it out there on the table that I am not a gourmet cook. As much as I love to eat wonderfully delicious food, cooking it isn’t of high interest. But one thing I have learned is that as much as you think you can make a recipe better, you shouldn’t stray from the written word. The cooks in the audience will disagree with me on this, saying recipes are too confining and do not allow for the individual creativity to come through. But for us non-Julia Childs we tend not to know any better and substitute ingredients that frankly don’t belong together. I don’t know how many times I got myself in trouble with the old “if a little makes it taste good, then more should taste even better.”
My measuring cup doesn’t have a ¼ cup marking on it and it drives me absolutely crazy. I am not going to improvise half way between the bottom of the cup and the ½ cup line. I will always be thinking the recipe would have been better had I used the RIGHT amount of oil instead of guessing. Follow the recipe and own a measuring cup with a ¼ cup line on it.
There’s a Sport for Everyone
Even if you don’t consider yourself an athlete, being part of a team teaches invaluable lessons and gives one a sense of what working toward a common goal is all about. Traits you use in your job, your marriage, parenting, community service and so much more. Being committed to a team teaches discipline. When its 15 degrees outside and you don’t feel like getting wet in a pool and cranking out a 7,000 yard practice but you have to because you are part of the team, you learn commitment, discipline and you become a better person for it.
So send me your pieces of wisdom you have found important over time- no matter how trivial you think it is. If I get enough feedback, I will publish them in an upcoming column so we can all be more enlightened. Since the theme of moment is spread the wealth, let’s spread the wisdom as well. Pass it on.
Quote of the Week: “Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.” -Albert Schweitzer
I know I am not old enough to be looking back at life and being philosophical about mistakes I may have made and what I would do differently given the chance at a “do-over,” that will come some thirty years from now after I make the really big ones. But still I think everyone can help shed different perspectives on this journey at every stage in life, so I pose this question to you now: What advice would you give a younger you? What do you know today that you wish someone had told you years ago?
Where do I begin? There are deep life lessons and the not-so-deep-but-still-important ones. Like “check pockets before washing children’s pants so not to wash the stowaway iPod because even when it dries out, it still doesn’t work.” That is sage advice, and I can attest to it first hand. After six months I am still apologizing on that one.
Pay Closer Attention in Math Class
I would tell a younger me to pay more attention in math class. Algebra won’t come into play in life that often for most of us, but measuring will. Learn how to read a ruler beyond the quarter marks so you don’t have to say things like “its four inches and three short lines past the second thick one.” Yes, there are those of you out there who measure like that. I’m not naming names, but you know who you are.
Follow the Recipe
Let me just get it out there on the table that I am not a gourmet cook. As much as I love to eat wonderfully delicious food, cooking it isn’t of high interest. But one thing I have learned is that as much as you think you can make a recipe better, you shouldn’t stray from the written word. The cooks in the audience will disagree with me on this, saying recipes are too confining and do not allow for the individual creativity to come through. But for us non-Julia Childs we tend not to know any better and substitute ingredients that frankly don’t belong together. I don’t know how many times I got myself in trouble with the old “if a little makes it taste good, then more should taste even better.”
My measuring cup doesn’t have a ¼ cup marking on it and it drives me absolutely crazy. I am not going to improvise half way between the bottom of the cup and the ½ cup line. I will always be thinking the recipe would have been better had I used the RIGHT amount of oil instead of guessing. Follow the recipe and own a measuring cup with a ¼ cup line on it.
There’s a Sport for Everyone
Even if you don’t consider yourself an athlete, being part of a team teaches invaluable lessons and gives one a sense of what working toward a common goal is all about. Traits you use in your job, your marriage, parenting, community service and so much more. Being committed to a team teaches discipline. When its 15 degrees outside and you don’t feel like getting wet in a pool and cranking out a 7,000 yard practice but you have to because you are part of the team, you learn commitment, discipline and you become a better person for it.
So send me your pieces of wisdom you have found important over time- no matter how trivial you think it is. If I get enough feedback, I will publish them in an upcoming column so we can all be more enlightened. Since the theme of moment is spread the wealth, let’s spread the wisdom as well. Pass it on.
Quote of the Week: “Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.” -Albert Schweitzer
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