Saturday, April 2, 2011

You Won't Regret Reading This Column

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 4/2/11
It's said that you should live your life to the fullest, take reasonable chances, travel, explore and don't look back. Have no regrets, is what I have always heard. Be proud of your accomplishments, walk to the edge, work hard and just keep swimming (to quote "Finding Nemo").

When you look back on your life, is there anything you wish you could change? Some of us would say yes, and a new survey out of Northwestern University ranks the top 10 life's regrets that Americans harbor.

One interesting fact the study found was that twice as many women (44 percent) had a love or family-related regret, whereas men were slightly more likely than women to have a career or education-related remorse.

Get out your woe-is-me hankie; here we go in order of popularity:

What else could be at the top of the list but love? Eighteen percent of people surveyed put a romantic relationship as their biggest regret in life. Did you break someone's heart? Was there an affair that never should have happened? And what about the one that got away? All there is is love, folks; no surprise that this tops the list of regrets.

Coming in at No. 2 is family-related regrets. Sixteen percent of people surveyed said family issues in the past should have been resolved much earlier than they had. Let's see a show of hands on this one — who remembers last Thanksgiving?

The third-highest rated regret was school-related. Thirteen percent of the respondents regretted not studying harder, not pursuing a different major in college, and not going to grad school. Which leads right into the fourth highest regret, career choices. Twelve percent of the participants regretted the career path they chose.

Next up with 10 percent, put money mistakes at the top of their regret list. What with Bernie Madoff, Doug Vaughan and the economy, making smart financial choices these days is like walking through a mine field.

Anyone who's been there knows parenting is the hardest job in the world, molding little people into productive, compassionate grown-ups. Nine percent of the people in the survey regretted something related to their kids. I'm surprised it's not 100 percent; don't we all have parental guilt about something we did and didn't do?

Six percent of people surveyed most regretted something about their health, such as not visiting the doctor more often, eating poorly, and not exercising. This one is preventable; the weather is beautiful now, put on those sneakers and get moving.

About 4 percent in the survey had friendship regrets. Letting a close friendship fade is common, given the relocating and career changes people do nowadays. I can happily report I have had my same best friend for the last 38 years. And we finally live in the same state again.

Spiritual regrets were top of the list for 3 percent of the people surveyed. Either not going to church or making choices that they later considered immoral seemed to weigh heavy on their hearts.

Wish you'd worked the polling places on Election Day or graded more papers in your child's classroom? Then you're among the 1.5 percent of respondents whose biggest regret was not volunteering more. Get involved. Volunteer.

Woulda, shoulda, coulda: What is your biggest regret?

Quote of the Week: "At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent." — Barbara Bush

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