The ants are trying to burn down my house

It happens about once a week. A group of ten ants hoist a crumb up my kitchen wall and try to put it into my electical outlet. My kitchen is spotless, where are they getting the kindling?

Right after I snapped this photo, the pyromaniacs dropped the crumb and all fell to the counter.

Apparently a bright flash works just as well as Windex.

Marketing at Its Best

Being in the marketing/advertising field myself, I love to see a great idea.

To show business and marketing professionals they can improve their businesses with good ideas, two brazilians - Bob Ferraz and Marcelo Melo, working for Fisher (in Portugal) - created a gorgeous campaign for an unusual client, Mr. Felix, a homeless man.

Result: Silver in the Cannes Young Lions and a huge ROI for Mr Felix.

Watch the video below. Follow the subtitles in upper left corner.

It’s priceless!

Let's Be Frank: Hot Dog Season Has Arrived

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho and Westside sections 5/23/09
Not only is Memorial Weekend the unofficial start of summer, but it also kicks off a few other milestones: School's out for the summer and the Indianapolis 500 is Sunday. I remember going to the Indianapolis 500 time trials when I was little. It was loud, it was boring and we ate all the sandwiches we had packed in the cooler while we waited in the car in the parking lot for the gates to open. By the time we sat down in the stands, we were ready to go home.

Baseball season is upon us, and so are the thousands of pounds of hot dogs that will be consumed this summer. Yes, it is officially hot dog season as well.

Hot dogs are one of those mysterious foods like escargot; you don't want to think about what you are eating, just drown it in condiments and sauces and swallow.

Despite growing competition from other food options, ranging from sushi to tacos, hot dogs remain top dog, especially at baseball stadiums. According to the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council, Americans eat an incalculable number of hot dogs each year.

But depending on what part of the country you live in, hot dogs preferences are as unique as the dialect spoken. Midwesterners eat more pork and beef hot dogs than any other region of the country. The semi-vegetarian Westerners top the list for eating the most poultry hot dogs, and Easterners prefer all-beef hot dogs and consume more than any other region of the country.

New Yorkers eat more hot dogs than any other group in the country and when you buy your hot dog in the Big Apple, it comes served with steamed onions and a pale, deli-style yellow mustard.

Chicago dogs are layered with yellow mustard, dark green relish, chopped raw onion, tomato slices, topped with a dash of celery salt and served in a poppy seed bun.

Buy one in the South and you'll end up with your dog "dragged through the garden" and topped with coleslaw.

In the Midwest, get the mints out. Hot dogs are served with sauerkraut and melted Swiss cheese on a sesame seed bun. Hey, that doesn't sound too bad. My Michigan is showing, isn't it? Someone pass the Tic Tacs, please.

Besides beer, a hot dog is a staple at ball parks and each one serves up their dogs their own unique way. Up at Coors Field in Denver, the Rockie Dog is of the footlong type topped with grilled peppers, kraut and onions.

The Fenway Frank as Bostonians know it, is the only dog to eat while watching the Red Sox. Boiled and grilled, the Fenway Frank is served in a New England style bun with mustard and relish. And for those of you who grew up in L.A., there is no equal to the Dodger Dog.

Let's not forget why Memorial Day was established in the first place. A federal holiday, Memorial Day is observed on the last Monday in May to honor U.S. men and women who have died while in the military service. Be a proud American and carry on the tradition by flying your flags with pride. But remember, only at half-staff from dawn until noon when they are to be raised to full staff. Be safe.

Quote of the Week: "We like our beer flat as can be. We like our dogs with mustard and relish. We don't worry about the pennant much. We just like to see the boys hit it deep. There's nothing like the view from the cheap seats." — Alabama

Super Slow-Mo Cameras Reveal the World Inside Time- too cool!

Not All Commencement Speeches Are Bland, Dry

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Westside and Rio Rancho Sections, 05/16/09

Do commencement speeches really sink in with the graduates who they are intended for, or do the words of wisdom resonate more with the adults in the audience? Of the young leaders in the audience, how many are willing to listen to one more adult give them one more bit of advice? When really all they are thinking about is 1) How soon can I take off this hot cap and gown? and 2) Whose party should I go to first?

Commencement speeches have a tendency to be on the dry side, and unless they are given by the Jay Lenos and Robin Williamses of the world, the speeches can be run-on and bland, with the memorable "aha" moments few and far between.

As I was researching this column, I wanted to find the best of the best in commencement speeches, and I found that some of them held me from beginning to end (Steve Jobs), whereas others could barely hold my attention to the second paragraph (insert any politician name).

So, in keeping within my allotted space on the page and for the sake of interest, I present my favorite excerpts for your review.

Marc S. Lewis, a clinical psychology professor at the University of Texas Austin, in a speech from 2000 said, "There are times when you are going to do well, and times when you're going to fail. But neither the doing well, nor the failure is the measure of success. The measure of success is what you think about what you've done. Let me put that another way: The way to be happy is to like yourself and the way to like yourself is to do only things that make you proud."

More words of wisdom come from Woody Hayes, Ohio State University's legendary football coach from an inspiring speech in 1986: "You'll find out that nothing that comes easy is worth a dime. As a matter of fact, I never saw a football player make a tackle with a smile on his face. Never."

Although U.S. presidents' commencement speeches tend to be rather low-key, I did find a speech by JFK that is among the better ones. In this often-quoted line from his 1963 address to American University grads, Kennedy sums up a collective perspective: "In the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal."

The most inspiring commencement speech I came across is titled "Find What You Love" given by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and Pixar Animation Studios, delivered to the graduating class of 2005 at Stanford University. He laments on losing top dog position at Apple Computers, the company he founded, and the humbling task of having to start all over again. In other words, lessons on survival.

Jobs said, "Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

Follow your hearts, dear readers, even if that means taking art history and oil painting classes in college when you're supposed to be taking calculus and business law.

Quote of the Week: “You will be judged by your gallop, not by your stumble.” – Bradley Whitford

www.jenniferhuard.blogspot.com

Motherhood Does Have Its Rewards

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho & Westside sections 05/09/09

With today being Mother's Day eve, I thought it appropriate to strip away the gingham and lace of motherhood and put the truth right out there on the TV trays: Going to the park is boring.

And since we're on the subject of confessions, I have another one: Once, I wiped baby's face with a kitchen sponge! There, after all these years, it feels good to get that off my chest. Go ahead, report me to social services. Besides, it was only once and just on the cheek.

When I was a few weeks away from giving birth to my first daughter 16 years ago, I can still recall an anxious phone conversation I had with my sister, a new mother herself. She was filling me in on how demanding a newborn could be, and I protested that I didn't want to be wanted 24 hours a day. Her response? "Too late now." Was that true? Was life as I knew it really going away completely? Ya baby, didn't you get the memo?

Ayelet Waldman's book, "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace" strips away the righteousness and gives permission to talk about how hard motherhood really is. In other words, it is the conversation you have with your best friend at the kitchen table rather than the phony chit chat with the competitive moms on the sidelines at soccer practice. The reality is raising children is hard, and it's OK to say so. That is unless you are the Duggar family with 18 kids. Have you seen that TV show? They all play the violin together, feed each other, and wash each other with perpetual smiles on their faces. You can't tell me life is as perfect as it appears. One of those kids is going to run away and join a Tibetan monastery and live in solitude making beaded necklaces someday.

If the day-to-day life of motherhood isn't hard enough, Salary.com is out with its annual phantom salary of what a stay-at-home or working mother's salary would be if they were paid for gardening, maid, cook and nanny services.

According to the Web site and with calculated inflation, the job of "mother" should pay $122,611. But mothers everywhere know money doesn't compare to the real benefits we reap everyday with our children.

Children bring heartfelt humor and happiness into your life, the kind you cannot experience anywhere else. Like the time I was driving my then 4-year-old to gymnastics practice. Still lacking in the whole time continuum concept, she asked from her booster seat in the back, "When I get old enough to drive, can I drive to gymnastics?" Or the time she woke up one morning and exclaimed "last night was small." Then there is my youngest daughter who, to this day, swears I told her corn comes from monkeys (she is 10). She is also the one who once asked me the pointed question from the back seat of the car if the windshield wipers were on the inside or outside. Priceless.

To all the mothers who feel like they are treading water in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight, hang in there. Be proud of yourselves. It is hard to see now, but you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams for the hard work you are doing today. Like on your child's first day of kindergarten, she might turn to you and say, "I wish I was alive when you were a little girl so we could go to school together."

Pass the hankie and have a wonderful Mother's Day.

Father's Day is June 21. Spread the wisdom and send me the best fatherly advice you ever gave or received.

Quote of the Week: "Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs ... since the payment is pure love." — Mildred B. Vermont

Jennifer Huard -It's All Happening on Fox

I am going to ignore the fact that I have to share my 2 minute television debut with a t-shirt wearing, piano-playing feline and relish the fact that Jessica Garate featured this blog on KASA Fox 2, Albuquerque, NM on May 7, 2009. Meowwwww...........

The Unconditional Love Give-Back Project

This is a fundraising direct mail postcard campaign I designed for Watermelon Mountain Ranch (WMR), New Mexico's largest no-kill animal center. Join the monthly donation project and receive a WMR wristband or a LOVE tag for your pet. Check out their website for details at http://www.wmranch.org/.

Every Dog (or Cat) Has Its Day (or Week)

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho and Westside sections 5/2/09

Its ten o’clock, do you know where your cat is? That was on a magnet on my mother’s refrigerator for 25 years. The cat hated her and you can just imagine the ways he showed his contempt. She was the one who fed Spooker, nursed him when he was sick, pulled burrs out of his fur but who did he worship? My dad.

May 3-9 is Be Kind to Animals Week, so when you find an unexpected present in your shoes or on the stairs in the morning, just remember those sometimes cuddly balls of fur were put on this earth to make us happy.

It is also National Pet Week, and in the spirit of our furry friends you might want to check out Albuquerque’s newest pet grooming and training facility on the Westside, Jack and Rascal’s. They don’t sell pets per se, but rather everything one needs to spoil Scruffy and Fluffy. They do however adopt out cats and kittens from Animal Humane and usually have a few in the store at all times.

Samantha and Patrick Sanchez, along with Patrick’s mother Cynthia Knott opened Jack and Rascal’s on March 14 in the Shops at Montano right off of Coors. Taking the name from their two dogs; Jack, an American pit bull, and Rascal, a Siberian husky, Samantha says business has been great. “We have a full pet line including premium pet food, toys, treats, collars, leashes, you name it,” she said.

Along with the retail side of the business, Jack and Rascal’s offers training classes throughout the week including puppy training, basic, intermediate and advanced obedience classes, foundation for agility classes or private lessons in-store or at home for your convenience.

The Sanchez’s have a passion for saving animals lives and do a lot of work with the community groups including Watermelon Mountain Ranch Animal Center (WMRAC) and Animal Humane. “We just delivered 800 lbs of pet food to Watermelon’s food bank through our donation matching program in the store,” said Samantha. “Every pound or every dollar of pet food purchased and donated to the food bank, we will match it.” Their goal is to raise 2,000 pounds of food. So stop in, get a treat for your pooch and help out the homeless pets at the same time.

“We also take new and gently used pet beds, blankets, leashes, collars, and kitty litter and donate it to Watermelon too,” says Samantha, “so feel free to bring in anything you want to donate and we will make sure Watermelon gets it.”

WMRAC has opened a food bank and is currently supplying food to ten needy rescue groups around the state. They are also providing food for individual animal owners who are suffering hardships trough the food pantry at Casa Rosa in Placitas.

If you are in the market for a new pet this weekend head out to either PetSmart locations (Coors Bypass or Eubank & I-40). WMRAC has organized shelters from around the state to participate in the 2009 Spring Adoptathon.

“We have lots of puppies, kittens and small dogs ready to be adopted,” said Sophia DiClemente, executive director of WMRAC. “This event is in cooperation with the North Shore Animal League’s world wide adoptathon; over 2,000 rescue organizations in 26 countries are holding events this weekend around the world. The spokesman for the event is Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer from National Geographic Channel and we are so proud to be a part of it. We invite everyone to come out and find a new friend to take home.”

Quote of the Week: “How much is that doggie in the window? The one with the waggley tail. How much is that doggie in the window? I do hope that doggie's for sale” – Patti Page