Car Buying

The story you are about to read is true. The names were changed to protect the guilty.

Car buying is not my favorite thing in the world to do; in fact it ranks right up there with colonoscopies, pap smears and mammograms. I’d rather pull my nose hairs out with tweezers than listen to one more car salesman swear on his life he is not making any money on my trade-in.

I have bought many cars in my lifetime and been with my dad when he bought his many moons ago. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. Unfortunately, I now find myself in the same uncomfortable situation again, this time all I am doing is trying to get out of my 2006 Jeep Commander and into a lower monthly payment. Let the games begin.

My first stop was a Toyota dealership on the eastside. I thought I would get a good used Toyota that got 36 miles to the gallon at a low monthly payment. Stepping into a Toyota dealership went against every American bone in my body, but desperate people take desperate measures. I knew I was in luck when I met “Seth,” a 15 year veteran in the car business who could answer my questions without having to going to the pit manager. He promised me it would only take 5 minutes to calculating my trade, but in the meantime why didn’t I walk the lot and see what I liked. He was a non-stop talker who was convinced he could make me fall in love with a ‘07 Corolla and agree to any deal because it was just so cute.

After an hour the manager came over and told me he could give me $3,000 less than what Kelley Blue Book said. And then Seth chimed in with the clincher: “If you were my wife, you would have already bought this car.” Red flag, red flag, where are my keys?

I had never been to Carmax, the used car superstore, but had heard many good things about it. The vibe at Carmax was much more straightforward. “Gary” didn’t give me the runaround and when we looked at the cars, he didn’t ask me what color I liked best. Yes, I have heard that one before. He told me he would give me $1,200 more for my Jeep than the Toyota dealership offered. Close but no cigar.

Next, I thought I might have better luck at the dealership where I bought my Jeep from, so off I went for a third opinion. Third? More like my twenty-third at this point if you throw in my dad, my brother and countless friends who “just want to be helpful.” I am grateful to them; because the more stories you hear, the better you are at smelling rats.

The Jeep dealership did turn out to be a good idea, well as good as I was going to get if I was crazy enough to sell my car to a dealership. They offered more for the Jeep than Carmax but no one can really expect to get their money out of any dealership. Finally, the manager came out and the numbers were revealed. Not good enough, although if they would have had a MINI Cooper Clubman in the lot, the temptation would have been irresistible.

The Commander is in the classifieds today. This smart cookie is selling it herself. Now the only red flags I have to worry about are the ones flying at Sandia MINI.

Quote of the Week: “Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels. I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels.” –Running on Empty, Jackson Brown.