College Life Isn't Quite What It Used To Be

As appeard in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho section Saturday, March 26, 2011

I was looking through some boxes in the garage the other day and getting caught up in old photographs for way longer than I had planned. You know how that goes, five minutes turns into half an hour, which turns into two hours, which makes you late for getting dinner on the table.

As I was going through a box of old letters and postcards, I came across a letter my dad wrote to me in March of 1979. It was my senior year in high school and we had been discussing colleges for the coming fall.

"Did you get the information I sent you on Ohio State," said the letter. "I still haven't received your application to Ohio University that you said you mailed. Are you sure you mailed it?"

I couldn't believe I still had the letter, written more than 30 years ago to a high school senior getting ready to take the next big step in life. I remember the time well, the anxiety of where I would go to college that fall. And my dad, who made sure I was going to college even when I insisted that a job at the mall would be just as fulfilling.

The timing couldn't have been better, as now it is my turn to push my high school senior out of the nest and into her next adventure in life.

High school seniors across the country are on pins and needles right now, awaiting word from the many colleges and universities they've applied to, hoping for that one magical word, "WELCOME."

Last week my daughter, her girlfriend and I went down to University of New Mexico and took the campus tour for potential students. After a short slide show and very informative grad student speaker, we all hopped on the little red trolley and headed for the main campus.

With each building we passed, I could see the anxiety in their faces slowly turn to enthusiasm as the girls began to see that this new experience in front of them just might be doable. But not living with a stranger in a tiny dorm room; that obstacle needed more reassurance.

"Why can't we just get an apartment together?" they asked.

"Because an apartment costs much more than living on campus. Besides, you need to get the full college experience, and that includes dorm living, cafeteria food, learning to do everything for yourself and bonding with other freshmen who don't have a clue either," I said.

My niece will be starting her junior year at the University of Colorado at Boulder this fall. She told my brother she was done with the sorority house and wanted to get an apartment for next year. They have actually been considering establishing residency in Colorado so as to avoid paying the exorbitant out-of-state tuition, so the idea wasn't so off the wall to my brother.

"That sounds good, honey," said my brother. "We can get back early next year and go to the used furniture store."

"Used furniture?" said my niece, in shock. "I am not buying used furniture. That's what I have now."

Whatever happened to milk crate book cases and wooden utility spools for coffee tables? Not anymore. Just add it to the list with books, clothing, food, and all the other expenses involved when it comes to college.

Meanwhile, how much did you say tuition was?

Quote of the Week: "College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?" — David Wood

Too Much of a Green Thing Can Backfire

As appeared in the Albuqueque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, March 12, 2011


"I hope there's not a corned beef in that bag," said my eldest daughter last week as I was carrying in the first load of groceries from the car.

"Of course there is, honey," I said, knowing full well that even the smell of the celebratory roast is enough to evoke her gag reflex.

"I also bought the cabbage, carrots and potatoes; it's St. Patrick's Day next week," I twinkled. I gave up on the "just one bite" years ago when I knew it was more than a casual dislike with her, as is pot roast.

St. Patrick's Day brings many tricks and innocent pranks on the children in your house; just ask mine, who have lived through everything from green milk at breakfast to green mashed potatoes at dinner.

Green milk and mashed potatoes, yes, I may go overboard on this holiday, but with names like Cochran, Smalley and Rafferty in my family tree, and my mother calling me Guinevere (a Welsh variant of Jennifer) my entire childhood, the holiday is rather hard to ignore. Or maybe I use it as an excuse to celebrate.

One of the coldest St. Patty's days I've ever spent was down in the Flats of Cleveland. The name reflects its low topography on the banks of the Cuyahoga River, and in mid-March you can bet the breezes weren't balmy. Fagan's, a local Irish pub near the water, was the place to be on St. Patrick's Day in the early '80s. And although the winds off the lake were enough to make your teeth rattle, the company inside was warm enough to make up for it.

When my daughters were little, St. Patrick's Day was a day of fun and mischief in our house. They woke up one year to the amazement of green painted fingernails on their little hands. Once out of bed, they followed a trail of lucky pennies out of their rooms and down the stairs to the kitchen where green shamrock-shaped pancakes awaited them.

The innocent pranks left an indelible mark on my little one, though, for the following year she remembered the little elf's antics and would not go to sleep in her own bed for fear of the "green leprechaun man" who would be coming into her room that night. Note to mommies: Too much of a good thing can backfire.

Don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tonight. It will take us all at least a week to recover from the time change. At least it's another step bringing us closer to spring.

Quote of the Week: "May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand." — traditional Gaelic blessing

Too Much of a Green Thing Can Backfire

As appeared in the Albuqueque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, March 12, 2011


"I hope there's not a corned beef in that bag," said my eldest daughter last week as I was carrying in the first load of groceries from the car.

"Of course there is, honey," I said, knowing full well that even the smell of the celebratory roast is enough to evoke her gag reflex.

"I also bought the cabbage, carrots and potatoes; it's St. Patrick's Day next week," I twinkled. I gave up on the "just one bite" years ago when I knew it was more than a casual dislike with her, as is pot roast.

St. Patrick's Day brings many tricks and innocent pranks on the children in your house; just ask mine, who have lived through everything from green milk at breakfast to green mashed potatoes at dinner.

Green milk and mashed potatoes, yes, I may go overboard on this holiday, but with names like Cochran, Smalley and Rafferty in my family tree, and my mother calling me Guinevere (a Welsh variant of Jennifer) my entire childhood, the holiday is rather hard to ignore. Or maybe I use it as an excuse to celebrate.

One of the coldest St. Patty's days I've ever spent was down in the Flats of Cleveland. The name reflects its low topography on the banks of the Cuyahoga River, and in mid-March you can bet the breezes weren't balmy. Fagan's, a local Irish pub near the water, was the place to be on St. Patrick's Day in the early '80s. And although the winds off the lake were enough to make your teeth rattle, the company inside was warm enough to make up for it.

When my daughters were little, St. Patrick's Day was a day of fun and mischief in our house. They woke up one year to the amazement of green painted fingernails on their little hands. Once out of bed, they followed a trail of lucky pennies out of their rooms and down the stairs to the kitchen where green shamrock-shaped pancakes awaited them.

The innocent pranks left an indelible mark on my little one, though, for the following year she remembered the little elf's antics and would not go to sleep in her own bed for fear of the "green leprechaun man" who would be coming into her room that night. Note to mommies: Too much of a good thing can backfire.

Don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tonight. It will take us all at least a week to recover from the time change. At least it's another step bringing us closer to spring.

Quote of the Week: "May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand." — traditional Gaelic blessing

Caution Thrown to the Wind for This Column

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho section Saturday, February 26, 2011

Has the warmer weather brightened up your days lately? Just to feel the warmth of the sun on your back, and breathe in 60-degree air brings back memories of last summer, pinkish sunsets, burgers on the grill and Gordon Lightfoot on the stereo.

But don't let this springlike weather fool you; it's just the calm before the storm. March is such a changeable month: We can see warm temperatures or late season snowstorms. We are turning on the heat in our cars in the morning and the air conditioning in the afternoon. I say March is going to live up to its reputation by coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb.

An idiom is a figurative expression, word or phrase. How many idioms did you notice in that previous paragraph?

There seems to be a significant amount of idioms having to do with weather. The majority of idioms characterize either very low or very high temperatures. And extremely high temperatures, for instance, are described as hot as in hell, right?

I threw caution to the wind and tried to find as many weather related idioms as I could, and courtesy of usingenglish.com, I had it made in the shade. May the following weather related idioms take you by storm.

If something happens unexpectedly and suddenly, it is a bolt from the blue.

If someone chases rainbows, they try to do something that they will never achieve.

If you are on cloud nine, you are extremely happy.

If a cloud of suspicion hangs over an individual, it means that they are not believed or are distrusted.

If you can see a problem ahead, you can call it a cloud on the horizon.

If something or someone is having a dry spell, they aren't being as successful as they normally are.

A fair-weather friend is the type who is always there when times are good but forgets about you when things get difficult or problems crop up.

If you get wind of something, you hear or learn about it.

If something or someone moves like greased lightning, they move very fast indeed.

If a person has their head in the clouds, they have unrealistic, impractical ideas.

If you hit rough weather, you experience difficulties or problems.

If you're in a fog, you are confused, dazed or unaware.

Into each life some rain must fall. This means that bad or unfortunate things will happen to everyone sometime.

When it rains it pours, means that when things go wrong, they go very wrong.

If everything has frozen in winter, then Jack Frost has visited.

If someone rains on your parade, they ruin your pleasure or your plans.

If someone is seven sheets to the wind, they are very drunk.

When you shoot the breeze, you chat in a relaxed way.

If someone steals your thunder, they take the credit and praise for something you did.

When people throw caution to the wind, they take a great risk.

If you are feeling a bit ill, sad or lack energy, you are under the weather.

If you weather a storm, you get through a crisis or hard times.

Quote of the Week: "It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: When it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." — Charles Dickens.

Make Your Pledge To Walk for This Good Cause

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho section, Saturday, February 19, 2011


It has been said that Donald Trump, the New York real estate tycoon, suffers from more than a bad haircut; his known extreme cleanliness makes him more than a germaphobe. His behavior supports a mental disorder diagnosis called OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The recent tragedy in Tucson brought mental illness to the forefront once again. Reports surfaced that the suspected gunman was acting erratically the weeks before he killed nine people outside of a Safeway. An extreme difference from Donald Trump's excessive hand-washing, yes, but both are mental illnesses nonetheless.

Anxiety, attention deficit disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, autism, bulimia, anorexia and schizophrenia; all very common and all categorized as mental illnesses.

It is well documented that poet Sylvia Plath, author Charles Dickens, playwright Tennessee Williams and President Abraham Lincoln were all known to suffer from depression. Depression has touched my life in a number of ways, with relatives and loved ones suffering from this devastating illness.

If you have not been afflicted with any of these mental illnesses, chances are you know someone who has. Maybe it is the word "disease" that throws people off. When they think diseases, they think of infectious diseases like measles, meningitis and tuberculosis. And when someone says "mental illness," well, then surely they must be talking about someone who is really "crazy." Not true, my friends.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 26 percent of Americans 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.

NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The nation's largest grass-roots organization is dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by mental illness. It is gearing up for its only fundraiser of the year, and it wants your support by walking 3.7 miles to prove it.

According to Marilyn Salzman, president of NAMI Westside Affiliate (2010-12) and the 2011 N.M. Walk manager, 90 percent of the money raised here stays in New Mexico. "The money we make from the 5K is used to help fund our programs, which promote awareness, anti-stigma and advocacy for the mentally ill community and their families," Salzman said.

Last year, NAMI Westside received almost $4,000, which went to aid recovery, support and education programs right here in town. According to the NAMI NM website, the current total pledged for this year's walk is already up to $38,187. And with 85 days yet to go, they are hoping to meet their goal of $150,000.

The NAMI walk this year is Saturday, May 14, at Albuquerque Academy. Don't we all go out for our walks, jogs or bike rides on Saturday mornings anyway? Why not walk for a good cause instead of around your block this one time?

Get a team together, or get your family together and sign up at www.nami.org/namiwalks/nmd. Then send your friends and co-workers to the website where they will find you and make a donation in your name.

The stigma is slowly dissolving as awareness of mental illnesses grows. People are slowly becoming more accepting and supportive of programs like NAMI. Like the slogan says, NAMIWalks — Changing Minds ... One Step at a Time.

For more information, call 505-203-7179 or visit www.nami.org/namiwalks/nm.

Quote of the week: "In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it." — Marianne Williamson, author.

Caveat Emptor Should Be My Middle Name

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho section Saturday, February 12, 2011

It all started over a year ago when I was trying to sell my Jeep Commander. I was told I would get more money for it if I sold it myself rather than go through a dealership. And since the goal is always to make smart money decisions, I was going to go with that.

I cleaned the Jeep until it sparkled like new. I spent the money to fix all of the chips in the windshield, something I wouldn't do if I was going to a dealership. Plus, I even changed the oil. And then my mother called. "You don't know how to sell a car yourself. What if they come to your house and steal your car? And how will you handle the paperwork," she questioned.

With my mother pointing out the obvious, I then drove down to a dealership and traded the Jeep in for a lesser used car. It took me weeks to get over feeling like an idiot for spending over $200 on an oil change, chip repair and a full tank of gas, just to give it to a dealership. Live and learn. Unfortunately, this scene would play out again and again in the months to come.

I am sure this one has happened to others; I simply can't be alone. How many times have you taken your whole family out to see a full-priced movie, and a week later the movie is showing at the dollar theater? I would have gladly waited a week and cut the tab had I known "The Social Network" was in its last week at the cineplex. Live and learn.

When it comes to buying airline tickets, does it matter when you make your purchase?

I have to head back to the Midwest soon and have been watching the ticket prices fluctuate daily, even hourly. I was just about to click BUY when my sister called me. She said she had heard that the best day to purchase airline tickets was Tuesdays at 3 p.m. So, I waited until Tuesday and paid more than I would have on Sunday when I wanted to click BUY originally. Just shoot me.

My favorite has to be what happened to me last Wednesday. I had to get my and my daughter's driver's licenses renewed, so I decided to try the new express place on Southern Boulevard.

When we walked in there were only two other people in line. I noticed a sign on the wall that stated they were not a state agency and there might be a fee up to $24.95. I figured that fee would surely be for something big like a commercial driver's license, handicap placard and a couple of truck registrations; mine would probably be around $3.

Upon taking our pictures and the vision test, the very friendly clerk asked us the pertinent questions, processed our paperwork and ran my total. "That will be $89.17," she said.

"What?" I asked in shock. "How much were the licenses?"

Turns out the licenses were the normal $18 each. But there is a "convenience fee" of $24.95 per transaction. "Well, that must be why you are not busy," I said trying to keep my cool. "Oh, we get very busy," the friendly clerk said.

I left feeling like I had a sign taped to my back with big letters that read: KICK ME.

Caveat emptor my friends. But sometimes timing and convenience are everything.

Quote of the Week: "There are more fools among buyers than among sellers." — Proverb

Chilly Reception to Deep Freeze

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section February 05, 2011

Casa Vieja, Corrales

The frigid weather we have had this past week has been rather enjoyable. Why, you ask? Because one, we don't get subzero temperatures very often in Rio Rancho, and isn't variety the spice of life? And two, unlike the marathon winters in the gray Northern states, we know it is not going to last.

I found it rather curious that we would have a natural gas shortage this week, a rather substantial one, bad enough for Gov. Susana Martinez to declare a state of emergency the other day. Gas and electricity shortage? I think too many people are cooped up in their homes running their heaters and doing too many loads of laundry at the same time.

It doesn't take long for cabin fever to set in, especially with three consecutive days of no school, and I am not talking just the students. Let's face it, we are running short on more than just natural gas and electricity.

I would venture to guess the grocery stores are running short of El Paso refried beans, El Pinto salsa and Albuquerque Tortilla Co. tortillas. The cold weather and slick streets have kept us confined to our homes and forced us to cook for ourselves rather than enjoying a meal out. There's nothing like roasted mushroom soup and fish tostadas from Casa Vieja in Corrales. When will life get back to normal?

I can vouch for this one, since I have been there three times this past week, but Hastings has been short on its new releases. Seems everyone had the same idea for passing the time at home by watching movies. Having been stuck inside, what better than to snuggle up and watch some good movies with your main squeeze? Come to think of it, if there is a shortage of movie rentals, there must be a shortage of popcorn and good red wine, as well.

And not that I am making any connections here, but when school is closed for three days, the extended togetherness of personalities can sometimes lead to a shortness of senses of humor. For some reason a simple request like, "Will you feed the dog," all of a sudden gets you scathing glares as if you had said, "Will you wash the car, shampoo the carpet and weed the backyard before you make me lunch?"

In the Southwest, the freezing temperatures and snow-covered streets are few and far between compared with our neighbors to the north. I can remember my school days in Michigan when I had to walk a mile to school, in 3 feet of snow, uphill, both ways.

What there isn't a shortage of is bored kids, and parents worrying if they will come home from sledding with a broken arm and a chipped front tooth. Let's get them back in school where the only shortage is in free time.

Quote of the Week: "Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery." — Bill Watterson, American author of the comic strip "Calvin & Hobbes."

I Want To Be Fly, But Not G6

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 1/22/11

If you follow this column, then you know I have a thing about words, colloquialisms, dialects, slang and the misuse of words. I have some new words I found are being used in unacceptable ways, and it's driving me crazy.

While on the frozen food aisle at the grocery the other day, in particular the Stouffers section, I noticed a new product I hadn't seen before: Stouffer's Cheesy Spaghetti Bake. Now the last time I looked, bake was a verb, something one does to food. It is not a noun, as referenced in this case. Why don't they call it a Cheesy Spaghetti Casserole? That's what it is according to the picture. Why doesn't anyone use the word casserole anymore? Does it scream June Cleaver and black-and-white TV sets?

I continued searching for my turkey tetrazzini in the Stouffers section and came across their Steak and Swiss Stuffed Melt, right next to the ham and cheese melt. Melt, being the word in question here, refers to the condition the cheese is in. Once again, a verb is being used as a noun. The term tuna melt has always bothered me. Actually it doesn't bother me as much as patty melt. I can eat them; I just can't say the name without flinching.

My favorite has to be the term "drive safe." Your friends are wishing you well, and describing how they want you to drive away. Words that describe verbs are adverbs. Adverbs end in ly. Therefore, the correct term is "drive safely." Put an "ly" on the end of it.

For us parents out here, it is a constant struggle to continuously sound hip to our kids. There is a song my 12-year-old likes that says, "feeling so fly like a G6." It's a catchy song and one day I said, "I want to be a G6." My daughter gave me the look like I was 100 years old and said, "You better know what a G6 is before you say that."

I panicked and thought, What if a G6 is a tart from the wrong side of the tracks? Turns out "feeling so fly" supposedly means feeling cool, and G6 refers to the Gulfstream 650, the fastest and longest-range business jet available, made by Gulfstream Aerospace.

I took the Test Your Teen Slang quiz on Goodhousekeeping.com just to see if I was missing out on anything. I learned that sick means delicious, tool means stupid, and bounce means to leave in a hurry; that one I could have figured out on my own. I got most of the answers correct, and earned the title of Coolest Mom Ever.

But don't worry, I'm not about to use any of this lingo in conversation. Nothing embarrasses a teenager more than a parent who is trying too hard.

The English language is fascinating. I now know that I don't want to be a twin-engine jet airplane. But I do want to be fly.

Quote of the Week: "English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the driveway and drive our car on the parkway." — Author unknown

Are You Ready for Super Bowl Sunday?

As appeard in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section January 15, 2011

The Super Bowl, the single greatest sporting event known to mankind, will be upon us in three weeks. The Super Bowl is more than a game; it's more than a football world championship. It's the Oscars for advertisers, it's payday for bookies, and it's, well, the Super Bowl for those who are actually going to the game in Dallas.

With a career in marketing and advertising, I have always found it fascinating just how much money a 30-second spot during the Super Bowl goes for every year. According to Reuters, this year's Super Bowl commercials will set you back a measly $3 million, up $400,000 from last year. Coca-Cola, Anheuser-Busch, Doritos are all expected to make an appearance. Pepsi is projected to run at least six spots. And after a two-year hiatus, GM is expected back. Now that's what this Chevy girl likes to hear.

Does anyone care about the actual game, though? I think what a lot of people care about is the carnival happenings that take place because of the game. For instance, how many of you are in an office pool?

I realize this sort of gambling is hush-hush and supposed to be on the q.t., but a lot of times it's the president of the company who is the one organizing the whole thing, am I right? And isn't it always the case that the winner of these betting circles turns out to be someone who doesn't even follow football at all? Little Tina down in human resources, who was coerced into putting her dollar in just so the last square on the page could be filled, turns out to win everyone's money. Ouch.

On Super Bowl Sunday, Americans will hold more parties in their homes than on any other day of the year, surpassing even New Year's Eve. We'll eat more food than on any single day of the year except Thanksgiving. Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest day of the year for snack food consumption.

According to Sandy Moyer, cooking editor for BellaOnine, consumers spend more than $50 million each year to stock up on snacks for Super Bowl weekend. "On this unofficial National Day of Snacking, they'll typically eat over 8.5 million pounds of tortilla chips, 4,000 tons of popcorn and 14,500 tons of potato chips," says Moyer.

If you're planning a Super Bowl party, be sure to have plenty of food. How many of you are making a football-shaped meatloaf? Why not? Don't you make a heart-shaped one for Valentine's Day and a bunny for Easter? Remember to use shredded cheese to make the laces after it comes out of the oven.

I talk about the Super Bowl this weekend because if you are a true football fan, you will agree that this weekend, with four playoff games going on, is better than the Super Bowl, or so I've been told. The nonfootball person talks about the recipes; the football person talks punt, pass and kick. Can you tell which one I am?

The halftime show this year is Black Eyed Peas. Good, but they're no Bruce Springsteen.

This week's survey question: Are you going to a Super Bowl party?

Quote of the Week: "We're going to win Sunday. I guarantee it." — Broadway Joe Namath, three days before the Super Bowl game, 1969.

Turkey and Couch Potatoes

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 1/1/11

Happy New Year and welcome to 2011. It is going to take some time to get used to that number. I know this year is going to be great, if we could just get going.

I know the snow we had Thursday doesn't even compare to what the East Coast is dealing with, and I am sure cabin fever there is at peak levels. Just because we are capable of getting out of our houses, doesn't mean that we are.

Once again, with the kids home from school, and many people home from work, the television, in all its glory, is on all the time, giving us a sampling of what is passing for entertainment these days. And I've had about all I can take.

Did you know the Maury Povich show is still on the air? I thought that show was canceled in 1985. How many times are we going to find out who's the daddy, a common segment where men submit their DNA to prove they are or are not the father of their girlfriend's baby? Paternity pandemonium persists as the daddy cam follows the boyfriend backstage to witness his pain when he finds out he isn't the baby daddy. I am watching too much TV, aren't I?

My 12-year-old daughter's favorite show is "Judge Judy," which can also draw you in because it's like watching your mother catch your brother in a bald-faced lie. "Who dropped the smoke bomb out of your bedroom window during my Garden Club luncheon today? I don't know Mom, not me." Go get 'em, Judy.

I've watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" a few times, too. I like her; she gives cars and money away to people who really need it. But how many times can one watch her dance across the stage? I am watching too much TV, aren't I?

And who can forget Oprah? She is launching her own network today, OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network. I used to like Oprah when she was one of us and rich. Now she is one of them, and mega rich.

I've started watching "Family Guy" now, the cartoon for adults. Although my brother has been quoting this show for years, it took this last week for me to get hooked. Why am I watching Brian the talking dog date older women when I would rather be reading my new book, "Growing Up" by columnist Russell Baker? What is going on?

The marathons are the worst. There are "House" marathons, "CSI" marathons. The networks are even running movie marathons — I mean they are showing the same movie over and over. I've watched "Uncle Buck" three times now.

The local news programs have their "B" teams on the air, giving their "A" teams some vacation time. I get edgy when they fiddle with my regular anchors and weathermen. Steve Stucker, where are you?

Happy New Year, everyone. Now let's get back to work.

Quote of the Week: "I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts." — Orson Welles.

Some of Our Favorite Memories

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas, dear readers! Whether your day will be busy and filled with lots of commotion and children's laughter, or a quieter grown-up version of coffee in bed reading your favorite columnist, no doubt love is abundant today.

I hope there are no stockings with lumps of coal to report this morning; just lots of sparkly jewelry, good friends and delicious food all day long.

They say Christmas is for children, and that may be the case. The best memories of Christmas are usually from our childhood. Speaking of gifts, I would have to say my favorite childhood gift was the time my grandparents drove from Ohio to Michigan to surprise my brother and sister and me on Christmas. They brought brand new bikes for us, too, and I can't remember what they looked like. But the memory of my grandparents, the happiness and love has stayed with me for over 40 years.

I put out the call for favorite Christmas gifts. Many of you responded with wonderful stories to share, and I thank you. Here are a few of your responses.

• "In reality, every Christmas at my house was special. All seven (yep, seven) kids would sit at the top of the stairs until Dad went down to make sure Santa had come. Then it was a mad dash to see who got what. Of course, every pile held exactly the same number of gifts, and were usually the same size. Santa couldn't play favorites!"

— Kathy Colley, deputy mayor of Rio Rancho

• "When I was 34, I received a blue-denim shirt from a former girlfriend. The message was that despite how our relationship ended, she wanted a part of her image/persona to stay with me. I still have the shirt. Still fits, too."

— Ray W.

• "My own favorite was the year Joel and I spent weeks working on a gift for the boys. They were about 3 and 4, and we thought they might like a play tent ... We got carried away, and I ended up cutting out a huge circle of canvas, Joel stripped some 8-foot spruce poles, we had special grommets and stitching put on the front and voilá — an authentic miniature Sioux teepee that we still have and put up at times! It was a huge hit, and they spent many an hour playing 'buffalo hunt' and having sleep-outs."

— Tris C.

• "My favorite holiday gift that I will never forget was getting something called "Fighter Jet." I must have been about 8 years old and got this item, which resembled a fighter jet cockpit. Brings back happy memories of my parents."

— Richard B.

• "I'd have to say my favorite gift would be either my Daisy Red Rider BB gun when I was 6 (didn't shoot my eye out!) or my Sting-Ray bike with banana seat and racing slick rear tire when I was 8. How can a boy ask for anything better at those ages? If you were to ask (my) best gift as an adult, it would have to be sheepskin slippers that I get every year. Judy calls them elf slippers because they cover my ankles."

— Steve Shaw, Rio Rancho City Councilman, District 4.

I hope you receive the present you wanted most this year. Merry Christmas.

Quote of the Week: "The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other" — Burton Hills

Holey Christmas Tree Just Right for Oz Ornaments

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, December 18, 2010

With all of the seasonal rushing, I somehow got behind this year and didn't get our Christmas tree until a couple of days ago.

This year we bought our tree from Boy Scout Troop 1974 next to St. Thomas Aquinas here in Rio Rancho. What a great group or people they are. We pulled in about 7 p.m. Wednesday and were greeted by smiling faces who were ready to match us up with the perfect tree.

"What kind of tree are you looking for?" asked one of the den mothers, as two helpful Scouts stood by ready to assist.

I told her I only wanted to spend around $40, as I glanced at the tickets on the trees for $65 and up. I was informed their rates were about $8 a foot, which was better than many of the other lots in town. With the most convincing tone of voice, I told my daughters that the shorter trees are just as festive as the big ones, but they weren't buying it.

"How about this one?" my oldest daughter said as she stood next to a towering beauty like a "Price is Right" spokesmodel.

"That's pretty, how much is it?" I asked. "Ninety-five dollars," she sheepishly answered.

"Ah, let's keep looking," I said.

We continued to scour the rows of trees, and when I turned a corner, my daughters had found a 9-foot piñon with branches grown specifically for hanging Christmas ornaments.

"That's a good one, how much is it?" I asked. "This one is $36," said the den mother.

"Why so cheap?"

"It's from in state. The ones from Oregon are more expensive," she said.

After giving it some thought and careful examination, we all voted it was the prettiest tree on the lot and it wanted to come home with us.

The Scouts trimmed the bottom and put my stand on the tree. I paid my $36 and as I turned back to my daughters, who were now chatting with a den dad. I hear him say, "Someone has to buy the Charlie Brown trees."

What? Was the tree that took half an hour to pick out, the tree that I just paid for, really that bad? Sure, it had some bare spots, but that's where the Wizard of Oz ornament collection goes. I had never picked out a Christmas tree at night before and I felt like I was about to find out why.

Once we got the tree home and hung all of the decorations on it, we all agreed it was the most beautiful tree we ever had. Sure, it was lopsided with gaping holes. I did have to tie it to the wall, and it was lying against the television the next morning, but it's back up now. Go ahead, call it a Charlie Brown tree, I can take it.

And at Walmart, the stock boy told me the Valentine's Day merchandise arrived on the dock last week, and will be going on the shelves the day after Christmas. One week of this wonderful holiday season to go, my friends. Enjoy it before it's gone.

Christmas column next week: Write and tell me the best Christmas gift you ever received and how old you were when you got it.

Quote of the Week: "I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love." — Linus from "A Charlie Brown Christmas."

45s and Fluffy Found When Decluttering Garage

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 12/11/10

The walls in my garage had finally closed in so far that it was a tight squeeze getting out of my car.

That is one car in a two-car garage, mind you. I couldn't take it anymore; I could see myself on a segment of an upcoming "Hoarders" episode if I didn't do something fast. It was time to clean the garage, words that make grown-ups bristle and children run for their friend's house.

The process actually started last weekend when my daughters and I started sorting through boxes and bags of old clothes, toys and art projects. Get rid of the stuffed animals. Keep the preschool hand print artwork.

While going through some drawers, my oldest daughter found a stack of old 45 vinyl records and held one up.

"Wow, how old is this mom?" she asked.

I took a look at it and saw that it was "Loco-Motion" by Grand Funk Railroad. "That's from around 1974," I said.

"Cool," she says, "how many songs can you fit on one of these?"

Good Lord. She thinks it's a CD, which can hold around sixteen songs. A 45 is almost the same size as a CD I suppose, but black instead of silver, and with a big hole in the middle.

"One. It has one song on it," I tell her.

"One? You're kidding," she says, laughing. Talk about feeling old. Where's my turntable, Walkman and Easy Bake Oven?

Having sorted and bagged and swept, I moved our donations to the curb last Thursday for pick-up. The garage looked much better, but Fluffy the 4-foot stuffed animal was taking up too much room. He went out to the curb, too. I figured I was safe doing that ever since my daughter relegated Fluffy to the garage during her last room makeover six months ago. No such luck.

To my dismay, the donation truck hadn't been down my street when I arrived home from school with my daughter. As we pulled into the driveway, she saw the pile of donations neatly at the curb. But upon further analysis, she saw Fluffy tucked in on the backside of the pile.

"Fluffy?" she screamed as she opened the door before I could stop the car, running to rescue Fluffy from the deathly grips of the Salvation Army.

"How could you give Fluffy away?" she demanded.

I knew I couldn't win this one, so I allowed Fluffy back into the family. He is back in the garage sitting safely between the vacuum and the bikes, taking up too much room.

Just a reminder: Don't miss the Rio Rancho Winterfest parade this evening at 5:15pm beginning at Golf Course Road and Southern Boulevard. Come out and enjoy this hometown tradition with marching bands, decorated floats and, of course, Santa himself.

Quote of the Week: "It even makes you happy when you're feelin' blue. So, come on, come on, and do The Loco-Motion with me." — The Loco-Motion

Readers Share Holiday Traditions of Thespians and Depression

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 11/27/10

'Tis the season to be thankful and I am thankful for my loyal readers. I love hearing from you, and I always get a great response when I pose a question to you. Last week I asked you to tell me some of your family holiday traditions, and you didn't let me down.

Thank you to all who wrote to me. I enjoyed learning about your traditions and what is important in your families. Here are four letters I received from readers, sharing their holiday memories. I think you will like their stories as much as I have.

Thanksgiving is over. Let the traditions begin.

"Our favorite family Christmas tradition started many years ago when my nieces and nephews were young. I would go to the public library and select a Christmas play with a number of characters and the rest was PURE enjoyment. The family would have to find costumes and props and put their best thespian foot forward." — Marian D.

"Our family consisted of six children with our two loving parents. We had very little money, but we had lots of love and respect for each other. Thanksgiving was a day for us to remember how thankful we should be for living in this country and for what we had. We often went to church for a service. Of course, we had no TV, so we were not interrupted with that. We always had a very good meal.

"Our Daddy's birthday was Dec. 16, so we usually did our Christmas decorating on that day. We left them out until Jan. l. We carefully saved the wrapping paper in order that we might use it the next year. You might guess that I am a "Depression kid" and am 86 years old." — Irene J.

"My favorite tradition when we were kids (there were four of us), was that none of the presents were put under the tree until we had gone to bed. The anticipation was intense. We practiced for days getting down the 24-some steps so we could sneak down without making noise. There was also an unwrapped present from Santa left on the hearth or under the stockings for us. My first trip down the steps Christmas morning was usually around 2 a.m. One particular Christmas, when I was very small, I came down to discover my sister and I both had dolls under our stockings. Hers was a bride doll in a beautiful dress. I wanted that doll — I can still see that lace dress with the silver threads. I thought long and hard about switching the dolls. After all, only Santa would know. Sometimes I wish I had done it; Mom and Dad would have had a heck of a time dealing with that situation." — M.J.

"For Christmas, we have a Nativity scene on the fireplace — year round. But, being that our new home has no fireplace, the piano will have to do. From Thanksgiving until New Years' Day, a porcelain Santa Claus welcomes the shepherds and the Magi to the stable. We have the tree up for a very short time and for one reason only; my 12-year old cat still thinks it's her personal plaything.

"Since fatherhood, my son and I have been observing the Nguzo Saba (or Seven Principles) of Kwanzaa, and try to attend at least one celebration during the week. I think I get more out of it than he does, but we are both learning." — Ray W.

Quote of the Week: "Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." — Hamilton Wright Mabie, American essayist.

Ready or Not, Christmastime Is Upon Us

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 11/20/10

There they were, right in the middle of the living room, right where my daughters had left them upon dragging them in from the garage: the blue boxes, aka the Christmas decorations storage boxes.

The lids were removed and there it all was: the Santa candleholder from 1991, the blinking glass tree that plays a montage of the top five Christmas carols, the umpteen strands of gold garland, and of course, the stockings. But this was Nov. 15, not even Thanksgiving.

Wait. Stop. Are you kidding? I hadn't put away the witch lamp yet. And I am still picking up candy wrappers from Halloween, but nonetheless, someone hung the door knocker with the rustic bell, fake evergreen branch and red bow on the front door knob. Was there any turning back?

They had been begging me since the day after Halloween to start decorating for Christmas, so why should I be surprised? I remember seeing the first Christmas TV commercial on Halloween day. The stores have had their decorations up for weeks. And I was shocked to see Santa in his chair at the mall last weekend. I know they say the older you get the faster time goes by, but this is ridiculous. I know it's not just me.

Getting back to the decorations, I was actually considering putting out a couple of decorations, what could that hurt, right? No, no, no. Some traditions cannot be messed with. Christmas lights are hung on Thanksgiving weekend at the earliest. Decorations have inched their way up to this same time slot, which used to be about the middle of December, just to ward off the claustrophobia that can occur come late December.

Remember the retail tradition of no sales until Dec. 26? Everyone had to buy their gifts at full retail markup.

Do you have a shopping tradition? Do the women in your family go shopping on Black Friday, while the men sit back and watch football?

It's time to embrace the holidays, whether we are ready for them or not. Focus on your family, and be thankful to be with the ones you love.

What are some of your family traditions for the holidays? E-mail me and they might just find their way into a future column. A column tradition I am starting this year. Happy Thanksgiving!

Quote of the Week: "Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world." — Susan Lieberman