Mom Is Great For News, Gossip



Luca sitting on the floor of the car, looking tired,
and very grateful a lone Toyota 4Runner happened
by that hot summer day. Photo courtesy of Jake Quinones, NM Backroads.

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section July 9, 2011

Telephone conversations with my mother back East are always guaranteed to be enlightening and irreverent as we try and solve the world’s problems, along with Florida murder trials and whatnot. And, of course, when we get to gossiping about the family, well it’s downright juicy.

Turns out the other night’s conversation had us telling similar stories from each other’s corner of the world.

“Did you hear about the kitten that was thrown off the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge in New York?” she asked me.

“Heavens no,” was my response. “What happened?”

Apparently, someone in a moving car threw something out of the passenger’s side window on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge last Saturday.


What looked like trash began to move after it hit the retaining wall on the bridge. It was a 5-week-old kitten.

“Wouldn’t you know the car right behind the culprit was an animal control officer who pulled over and rescued the kitten before it stumbled over the edge and into the water below,” my mother said.
The New York animal shelter named the kitten Verrazano, and has had dozens of calls from hopeful adopters.

Well, after hearing that I knew I could top her story with another animal tale from right here in New Mexico.

Jake Quinones of New Mexico Backroads, a southern New Mexico-based backcountry vehicle exploration guiding and photography service, is always out driving the desolate and deserted roads in the uninhabited areas of our state.

He recently wrote on his blog about something he happened upon while driving the winding Indian Route 12 along the New Mexico/Arizona border.

“I passed dead horse after dead horse. Some lay on the embankment while others made it a bit further into the scrubland before dying,” Quinones wrote. “The third dead horse I passed provided surreal scene. A black puppy was playing in the grass tufts behind the massive carcass.”


Quinones said the black puppy fled in fear as he approached, but there was another puppy too injured to run.

“Her belly and paws were riddled with spines and goat heads,” Quinones said.
Not only that, it appeared the puppy had been rolling beneath the dead horse’s ruptured belly for days.
“I picked her up and held her to my chest; her tail started to wag,” he said. “The spines and goat heads embedded in her skin made holding her like embracing a cactus.”

The final picture on the blog shows the dirty puppy, which looks like an Australian shepherd mix, sitting on the floor of the car, looking tired, and grateful a lone Toyota 4Runner happened by that hot summer day.

“Oh, that is a great story,” my mother said. Not missing a beat, she continued, “Did you see that hotel maid case in New York was dismissed? You know she was a hooker.”

Quote of the Week: “If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” – Erma Bombeck
Read Jake Quinones full story on Luca the puppy here.

Former Ohioan Keeps Making Music

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section July 2, 2011

Last week’s column on my trip back to Ohio had more than a few people write in commenting on Ohio, old friends and Ohio University. I knew there were some Ohio transplants in Rio Rancho, and one in particular stole my heart.


“I read your column of Saturday, June 25th and I enjoyed it very much. Why? Because I was born and raised in Cleveland — 91 years ago,” Richard Kolda wrote in an email.

Turns out Richard and his wife moved to Rio Rancho in 2007 to be closer to their daughter and son-in-law.

Small world you say? It gets even smaller.

Richard Kolda went to Ohio University, like I did, and got his bachelor’s degree in education, but it took him a little longer than he had expected.

“It took me 8 years to get my degree. Some guy by the name of Hitler interrupted my education,” Richard says.

After teaching instrumental music in the Cleveland Heights School System for 30 years, and playing in the Cleveland Orchestra, among other bands and orchestras, Richard retired, but that hasn’t stopped him from playing his trumpet.

“I joined the Rio Rancho Symphonic Band a few weeks after the move,” Richard says. “I love the association with other musicians.”

The Rio Rancho Symphonic Band is an adult community band, says John Emory, the band’s director. He founded the band in 2005 to provide an outlet for adults in Rio Rancho and surrounding communities to continue making music after high school and college.

“As a result, we have a wide range of ages from high school age to our most experienced player, who is 91, which would be our own Richard Kolda, by the way,” Emory says.

Currently the band seats around 40 musicians at any given concert. There is no audition process for membership, rather Emory allows prospective members to attend rehearsals and decide for themselves if the band is a fit for their skill level.

The band rehearses every Tuesday at Cibola High School and plays free concerts about eight weeks apart all year; inside Cibola Auditorium during the winter months and outdoors in parks during the warmer months.

“Our goal is to increase our regular performing membership to 60,” says Emory. He is looking for wind or percussion players to join the band. If interested, John would love a phone call from you at 250-1773.

The Rio Rancho Symphonic Band will perform live before the fireworks show around 7:30 p.m. at Rio Rancho High school on the Fourth of July. I know I will be there; I have a fellow Bobcat to meet.

“I sit in the trumpet section, second-to-last chair,” Richard says. “I can’t decide what to wear; my O.U. hat or Indians.”

This O.U. bobkitten votes for the green and white O.U. hat, Richard.

Happy 4th of July Rio Rancho. Stay safe, and leave the fireworks to the officials.

Quote of the Week: “My whole life, my whole soul, my whole spirit is to blow that horn.” — Louis Armstrong, American leading trumpeter, 1901-1971.

Midwest Trip Was Heaven on Earth

Cedar Point Raptor

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section June 25, 2011

Last week my daughters and I flew back to Ohio to see my father and some old friends I haven’t seen in over 25 years. Yes, I had been working out – in the pool – for weeks and of course I had been lathering on the tan-in-a-can for days to make sure I had that natural Southwest glow. I wasn’t about to look like a pudgy middle-aged frump.

Our first stop was in Columbus to see my dad, who continues to struggle with Parkinson’s. A little slower, he was amazed to see how tall the kids had grown, and glad to have the company. We went to his favorite place for dinner, Hometown Buffet, and gorged ourselves as everyone does at those trough-style restaurants.

My college roommate just happened to be in town that same week, so we met up for a night of laughter and fun, just don’t bring up politics. We first met when the computer matched us up our sophomore year at Ohio University, roomed together again our senior year, and have stayed close friends ever since. Fate can be a wonderful thing.

After saying goodbye the next morning, we piled into the car and headed north on I-71 to Cleveland. But no one could sit still because the next day was to be the greatest day in a teenager’s life. We were going to the best amusement park in the world, as voted by the magazine Amusement Today for the past 13 years.
We awoke early, packed sandwiches, put on our walking shoes and headed for Cedar Point to ride all 17 roller coasters, including three of the top 10 steel roller coasters in the world.

No, not all of us went on the big ones, but between us we managed to hit the Corkscrew, Blue Streak, Gemini, Maverick, Millennium Force, Raptor, and Top Thrill Dragster, just to name a few.
An afternoon shower forced everyone to seek shelter for a half an hour while the rides were shut down. We ended up in Frontierland at the Red Garter Saloon for some nachos, beer and pop; finally a place where I am not the only one who uses that three-letter word.

Saturday night brought a cookout with friends I hadn’t seen since the mid-’80s. On one hand, it was like we hadn’t lost touch at all. And on the other, the wrinkles on our faces, the marriages, the births, the divorces and the deaths along the way reminded us 25 years really is a long time. We were young and relatively innocent then, and now a little wiser, a little mellower and a lot more appreciative of our precious time and who we should spend it with.

A little shower during the night gave us a misty Sunday morning and a Father’s Day classic car show. I found my usual favorites, but was excited to see my grandmother’s gold 1967 Bonneville; I instantly recognized the dashboard, the radio buttons I used to push and gold cloth seats where I used to sit. A sudden downpour had the old guys scrambling for tarps to cover their roadsters and dragsters and tricked out ’61 Impalas.

The daily humidity level was at 60 percent and all I wanted was to jump in Lake Erie for relief. Instead, I settled for two showers a day.

Did I have good weather, someone asked me? Yes, it was overcast the entire week with isolated thunderstorms. Heaven on earth to this transplanted Midwestern girl.

Quote of the Week: “They say if you get far enough away, you’ll be on your way back home.” – “Blind Love” by Tom Waits.



Father's Day 2011

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section June 18, 2011

Father’s Day is tomorrow, and although some of you fathers out there feel it is just another holiday invented by the greeting card companies, the rest of us feel just the opposite.

You can’t be all bad when your sons want to grow up to be just like you, and your daughters want to marry someone who is just like you. Father’s are important to their children.

Many men are of few words, yet when opportunities present themselves, they seem to rise to the occasion and speak words of wisdom in low, genuine loving tones. Fathers, whether you realize it or not, you have all the power in the world and your children are listening.

You are teaching your children life lessons all the time, values that only a father can instill in his children. And usually at the times when you least realize. Here are some lessons my father taught me, and he probably doesn’t even know it.

Seeing my dad drive 6 hours in the car to spend 36 hours with his three little kids in a Howard Johnson’s motel room for years taught me you have to put yourself out there when it comes to your kids, even if you live in a different state.

Seeing the look on my dad’s face, and the tears in his eyes as he waved goodbye to his kids after spending the weekend together, not knowing the next time he would see them taught me that life isn’t always the way you imagined it, or wanted it. But if you deal with it the best way you can, everyone will get through it.

Waking up your child from the backseat after riding six hours in the car to witness the odometer turn 70,000 miles together taught me you can find joy in even the smallest things in life.
Finding a tiny black and white picture of my mother in my dad’s jewelry box taught me it’s alright to hold someone in your heart forever, even if you were only married to them for 7 years of your life and went though a heartbreaking divorce.

Watching my dad go on rollercoasters when he was in his 50s taught me you’re never too old to act like a kid.

Working in the family business until 2 in the morning packing donuts into boxes for delivery at 6am, and then coming back at 6am to drive the delivery truck instilled a strong work ethic in me, and taught me that nobody goes homes until the job is done.

Being forced to go to boring family reunions with my dad taught me family is important, whether you even know which people are blood relatives and which ones married in, it’s important to know where you came from.

This is your purpose in life, men. Be there for your children. Love your children, whether they are 9 years old, 18 or 50. You have all the power in the world. Use it with tender loving care. Happy Father’s Day Dad.
Quote of the Week: “I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.” - Bill Cosby.

Someday You, Too, Will Be ‘That’ Old

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section June 11, 2011

They say the first step to overcoming a problem is to acknowledge it. My problem is age. Staying in shape has always been easy for me; walking was my answer to keeping my schoolgirl figure. But I have come to the point in my life where walking, and I mean power walking, isn’t cutting it anymore. As unfortunate as this is, I acknowledge it.

The second step to overcoming a problem is to treat it. I started seriously treating this problem over a month ago by returning to an activity that I know all too well: swimming.

Growing up on the water in Michigan, everyone was a swimmer. I was on swim teams ever since I can remember. I was even a valley champion in high school, as well as being the captain of my high school girls swim team my senior year.

I say this not to be boastful or conceited, but rather the back story is important. Starting swimming again after too many years out of the water was a very humbling experience to say the least.
You would think performing an activity that you used to be very good at would come naturally to you some 30 years later, like riding a bike. But was I in for a rude awakening.

About five weeks ago, I stopped in Big 5 to get a new Speedo swimsuit so I would at least dress the part of a true swimmer. Goggles and a towel and I was off to the aquatic center early Monday morning last April.
Upon arrival, the girl at the desk asked me if I was there for the class or the lap swim. I know one day I will probably be in the class where all the women stand in a circle, bounce in the shallow end of the pool and gossip, but not yet.

Before school let out, there were always plenty of open lanes. In fact, there were many times when I was the only swimmer the lifeguard had to watch. Now I get to watch the teenagers on the swim team practice and remember what I once was, so far away and long ago.

They don’t know that I used to do 6,000-yard workouts, weights and what have you, too. No, all they see is some woman slowly swimming down a lane holding on to a kickboard because she has no clue what real swimming is.
Yes, all of us old-timers take our time going up and down the lanes on our backs, sides and some of us even put our faces in the water. As tempting as it is to do the sidestroke, I refuse to. Yes, my grandmother taught me how to do the sidestroke in Lake Huron. Yes, I am proud, but in a pool full of young people, this would categorize me as an old lady. Wait a minute, I am sure they already think of me as one of the old ladies. What do I care?
Your day will come, you young whippersnappers. When you are the elder in the pool, recounting great memories of all the hard work you did, the friendships you made along the way, the great shape your body was in, all the food you could eat without gaining weight, and how you thought that you would never be “that” old.

Quote of the Week: “The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven’t changed in 70 or 80 years. Your body changes, but you don’t change at all.” – Doris Lessing, 2007 Nobel Prize winner in Literature.

Signs of the Rapture Growing in My Front Yard

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section Sat, May 21, 2011

I hate to be the bearer of bad news — and unless you live under a rock, I am sure this won’t be the first time you hear it — but reports are the world will be ending today at 6 p.m.

At least according to Harold Camping, a pastor out of Oakland, Calif., who is scaring the bejeezus out of people by suggesting they better say their goodbyes and eat all the food in their refrigerators because they will soon be going away for a very long time.

Camping is an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who founded Family Radio Worldwide, an independent ministry that has broadcast his prediction around the world. He says Jesus Christ will return to earth today, May 21, to gather the faithful into heaven. Most Christians aren’t buying it, but I still wonder, does this mean I don’t have to pay May’s electric bill?

As you can imagine, people are finding ways to capitalize on poor innocent souls who believe the apocalyptic prediction. Bart Centre, an atheist from New Hampshire, started Eternal Earth-bound Pets in 2009. He offers insurance for $135 to take care of your pets after the Rapture. I don’t see the need. I thought all dogs go to heaven.

The Rapture, the belief that Christ will bring the faithful into paradise before a period of tribulation on earth that precedes the end of time, is quite a daunting concept, one that is hard to grasp. But for the last two weeks, I’ve been watching signs of the Rapture in my own front yard, and according to the Internet, the end is definitely imminent. My big beautiful agave has been growing its life-ending flower stalk, and I’m not kidding, it grows by the hour. It’s now 6 feet tall. We are the talk of the neighborhood.

“I’ve never seen anything like that,” I heard one neighbor say as she passed the house on her morning walk. Another walker joined her and chimed in with her bewilderment. Then another. I finally looked out the window and there were five people and three dogs all staring at Jennifer and the Beanstalk’s beanstalk.

Watching this thing grow literally inches every day is exciting, I have to admit. But its pending demise is bittersweet to say the least. Agaves bloom once in their lifetime, usually between year seven and 40. I know my house was built about 12 years ago, but I am not sure when the agave went in. All I know is there are numerous babies that have popped up in my yard on their own, and two neighbors adopted one baby each in their yards. She’s done her duty, and now her Rapture has come. Sounds a little like Charlotte’s Web revisited, I would say.

“An agave plant will divert its energy resources into producing a towering flowering stalk at the expense of its life,” according to fireflyforest.net.

Yes, it’s my agave’s last big hurrah, and that makes me sad. Not to mention it will leave a big hole in my front yard. And how am I supposed to get a cactus the size of a baby rhino to the dump in my Nissan Altima?

I am not sure of the agave’s Rapture, but personally, I think we will be OK.

I’ve made plans for next week and will pay my electric bill on time. But just in case, we better clean our houses, do all of our laundry and wear our best underwear today. See you next week.

Quote of the Week: “Due to the lack of experienced trumpeters, the end of the world has been postponed for three weeks.” — Author unknown.

Some Advice For The Class of 2011

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section May 14, 2011

It’s that time of year again, graduation time for high school seniors, undergraduates and grad students. Both Rio Rancho high schools will be graduating their seniors this coming week. This will be V. Sue Cleveland High School’s inaugural graduating class.

There are many people who are celebrating the closing of one chapter in their lives and the opening of a new and exciting one. A new chapter filled with uncertainty, confusion, excitement and joy.

At this major crossroads in their lives, we try to give our children the best advice possible and hope they listen. Advice that will ease their stress, give them hope and point them in the right direction.

For me, it was the poem titled “Don’t Quit,” that my dad introduced me to back in the ’70s, which has given me strength throughout my life.

Since one person doesn’t have all of the answers, I asked some people if they would share their best advice for the graduating Class of 2011

“Never be afraid to doubt and to question. It can be summed up in the enlightenment motto: sapere aude — dare to be wise.” — Kurt Schmidt, director of bands, Rio Rancho High School.

“My best advice came from my dad, who always said, ‘If it was easy everyone would do it.’ He followed this up by a lecture about hard work, perseverance and goal setting for life.” — Scott Affentranger, principal, V. Sue Cleveland High School.

“Congratulations, now keep going! You’re not finished. When you wait to go to college you become a lazy radio guy who needs to finish his degree.”— Donnie Chase of “The Jackie, Tony & Donnie Show” on 100.3 the Peak.

“Don’t be afraid to fail. The world’s most successful people have failed before, and you will too … at times. When it happens, learn your lesson, get up as soon as possible, dust yourself off … and try again. You are never ‘a failure’ unless you give up. Do your very best, and life will take care of the rest.” — Steve Stucker, KOB-TV co-anchor and weatherman.

“The world we live in is only as good as we make it. Use the momentum of receiving your degree to propel you to reach your potential. By doing this, you will inspire others and have a lasting, positive impact.” — Mayor of Rio Rancho Thomas E. Swisstack.

“Follow your dreams with passion, commitment and vision.” — Debbi Moore, president and CEO, Rio Rancho Regional Chamber of Commerce.

“Don’t just work for a job. Discover over the next several years what you are passionate about. Dream a little. What would you really enjoy doing? You’ll be happier and more productive there.” — Don Schlicte, president, Rio Rancho Public Schools board.

“ ‘Do today what others won’t do, so that tomorrow you can do what others can’t do.’ I don’t know where this quote originated but it’s a motto I lived by even before I heard it. Sometimes hard work doesn’t seem that fun at the time, but there comes a time when it pays off.” — Jimmy Wagner of Wagner Farms, Corrales.

“Know yourself and always be true to yourself. Develop high ethical and moral standards, and do not allow your integrity to be questioned.” — Beth Miller, interim executive director of Rio Rancho operations, UNM West.

I dedicate this column to my firstborn who will be graduating from Rio Rancho High School next Thursday. I love you, Lili. As always, you make me so proud.

Quote of the Week: “And you never can tell how close you are. It may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit. It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.”—– “Don’t Quit,” author unknown.

The Perfect Mother

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 5/7/11

There is nothing like looking through the Mother’s Day cards rack at the store to realize just how many different types of mothers there are in the world. Each one unique and perfect in their own way, with strong points in areas when you most need them.
What would it be like if you could take all of the best traits and build the perfect mother, one that takes a little from here and a smidge from there and voila- the perfect mother?
To start, I would add one cup of Martha Stewart for her epicurean abilities and knowing her way around a kitchen. I would love to eat pork chops with tomato chutney, and I know some of her cooking can get a little rich. My mother runs a close second with her Fisherman’s Stew with Crunchy (undercooked) Carrots, or Sweet and Sour Tuna Fish; canned tuna, no kidding.
When it comes to house cleaning, what better than to add a smidge of Hazel, the attentive maid in the light blue uniform from the 60s TV series of the same name? Technically, I don’t think Hazel was a mother, but she was a female presence in the Baxter home. The house was always spotless, her attitude perky and not a hair out of place or a spot on her apron.
I’ll take a half cup of Jane Jetson from the cartoon series for her fashion and shopping expertise. If you remember correctly, her favorite store was Mooning Dales and Jane could squeak money out of George like a pro. Jane and daughter Judy wore all the latest trends and used the latest gadgets at home.
For night time story telling, I will take 2 cups of Erma Bombeck, America’s humorist and newspaper columnist from the 80s and 90s who was able to find the funny in everyday life. From “Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart,” to “The grass is always greener over the septic tank," Erma was a great story teller. Having published 4,000 newspaper columns and 15 books throughout her career, it would be a joy listening to her.

Add a pinch of Shirley Partridge for any musical assistance and a dash of Samantha Stevens from Bewitched. She can twitch her nose and get you out of any situation.

I know my kids like me just the way I am. And one way they show it is by the note they put on our refrigerator of something I once said. Is it an endearing, “I love you, honey?” Or an inspirational, motivating quote that makes them feel so loved? No. It seems that I said something so prolific when I was on ebay one time searching for a particular item for the bathroom, that they couldn’t let it go unnoticed. So, held tightly to our freezer door with a lady bug magnet is my captivating quote for all to see, “All the good toilet seats are in Europe.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderfully unique women.

Quote of the Week: “You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.” - William D. Tammeus, journalist.

Treasures at Resale Shop Aid Animals

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section Sat, Apr 30, 2011

How much is that doggie in the window? And that window? And that window?

Where could I possibly be, you ask?

Well, I am not shopping for another dog — two is plenty for me. I’m looking for a bargain treasure in Rio Rancho.

Give up yet?

Going to the Dogs (and Cats) is Watermelon Mountain Ranch’s newest venture, a resale shop and pet adoption center located in northern Rio Rancho at the former Petland location. They opened their doors just last week and, by all accounts, it’s already a huge success.
I dropped by Going to the Dogs (and Cats) last Thursday to see what new treasures I could find and the place was packed with people who had the same idea as I did. I was sure I could find a Depression glass vase or a little oriental rug for the entry way, so away I went scouring the aisles.
Walking through the store, it is impossible to not say hello to the puppies in the windows. What a perfect fit for Watermelon Mountain Ranch, the state’s largest no-kill animal shelter to move right into this location already built to display puppies and dogs. Someone even had a pooch in one of the socialization pens getting to know their new best friend.
Manager Terri White and volunteers staff the shop seven days a week, taking in donations and selling the trinkets and treasures at a steal.
“The inventory is always rotating,” White said. “We just got in a sleigh bed and more beautiful jewelry. You can be sure to find something new every time you come in.”
As I walked through the shop, I found items on the lower end of the price range, kitchen glasses and such for less than $2. Then there are beautiful antiques priced higher than what you would find at a thrift shop, yet much lower than your typical antique shop.
“We are so excited about this new venture,” said Sophia DiClemente, co-founder of Watermelon Mountain Ranch. “The sluggish economy has really hit the ranch hard. The animals keep coming, but the donations have dropped off. With the shop, we are able to showcase our animals conveniently for the public, and generate income though the resale shop.”
On this particular day, the kennels were full with extra friendly puppies fresh off the van from the Las Cruces shelter. “These guys were on the euthanasia list,” DiClemente said. “Now they have the chance to find loving homes. And as cute as they are, they won’t be with us long.”
Watermelon is helping the city’s shelter pets find homes as well. “Rio Rancho Animal Control will be bringing some of their animals here soon,” DiClemente said. “We are so glad we are able to help get their animals adopted too. This location and the set up inside gives potential parents a nice, quiet and clean place to see the dogs and get to know them.”
The store is open Mondays through Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Sundays from noon to 4 p.m.
There’s nothing like second-hand pooches, and second-hand clothes.

Watermelon Mountain Ranch and other rescue and shelters will be participating in the PetSmart National Adoption Weekend at the PetSmart on Coors Bypass in Albuquerque today from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Quote of the Week: “Father has a business strictly second hand. Everything from toothpicks to a baby grand. Stuff in our apartment came from father’s store. Even things I’m wearing someone wore before” — “Second Hand Rose” sung by Barbra Streisand.

Passed-Down Recipes: Comfort Food

As seen in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, April 09, 2011.
Copyright 2011 Jennifer Huard 

It's not always clear who decides these things, but April is National Grilled Cheese Month. Do you know any good recipes?

My mother's twist to this widely popular kid's lunch entrée was placing an unopened can of soup on top of a saucer on top of a grilled cheese sandwich while it cooked in the pan. I don't know why she did that, I achieved the same flattening result with a spatula. But it is just one of those things that sticks with you your whole life.

In the day and age of the Internet and cable television, one doesn't have to look far for a recipe for tonight's dinner for two or a Thanksgiving feast for 12. Tune into Rachel Ray every weekday, and you can watch her whip up a 10-minute dinner right on the spot. You want to get fancier? "Top Chef," "MasterChef," Paula Deen, "The Barefoot Contessa" are just a few of the shows you can catch at any given time and get more recipes than you could ever want.

But what about in the days when television offered only four channels and you most likely got your recipes from Julia Child on PBS? She was a hoot, but I am not sure how many recipes were actually scribbled down during her show.

In days gone by, exchanging recipes with friends and relatives was the norm, and I bet every one of us can find one in our drawer titled Mom's Brownies or Grandma's Meat Balls.

I pulled out my grandmother's recipe tin from the 1960s, the one that held her 3-by-5 index cards that she wrote down the recipes to all of her favorite dishes. As I leafed through it, I realized Mimi's old recipe tin with the copper top held much more than a good chicken dinner recipe. It held seven.

Mimi had a unique way of saving the recipes she collected from her friends and relatives. Written in her own hand was Mary Wilson's Chicken and Rice, Margaret Nunn's Chicken, Helen Curtis' Chicken Dinner, Ellen's Sherry Chicken, Doc Child's Baked Chicken Sour Cream Surprise, Window Washer's Chicken, and Carla's Window Washer's Chicken. I can only imagine where the last two came from.

I quickly realized each recipe was as unique as its name. My grandmother named all of her recipes after the people she got them from.

The next two recipes caught me off guard, and I had to laugh. Nestled among Emma's Molasses Sugar Cookies, Jean Draper's Hello Dolly Bars and Shirley's Turkey Balls was a recipe for Lois' Wallpaper Paste. Who knew that 2 tablespoons of brown sugar, 2 tablespoons of vinegar, and 1/2 cup of boiling water will save you a trip to Home Depot? Followed up by a recipe called Furniture Polish, which called for equal parts of denatured alcohol, gum turpentine, olive oil and lemon juice.

Mimi liked to cook, she liked to paint, and she had a lot of friends who did, too. Seeing her handwritten recipes she named for people I knew well too brought back memories of a life long gone by. And if I can't have her, I will take those any day.

Be sure to leave handwritten notes or recipes for your own children. They will cherish the intimacy of them and the time in their lives when you were there.

Quote of the Week: "To forget one's ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root."

— Chinese proverb

You Won't Regret Reading This Column

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal Rio Rancho section 4/2/11

It's said that you should live your life to the fullest, take reasonable chances, travel, explore and don't look back. Have no regrets, is what I have always heard. Be proud of your accomplishments, walk to the edge, work hard and just keep swimming (to quote "Finding Nemo").

When you look back on your life, is there anything you wish you could change? Some of us would say yes, and a new survey out of Northwestern University ranks the top 10 life's regrets that Americans harbor.

One interesting fact the study found was that twice as many women (44 percent) had a love or family-related regret, whereas men were slightly more likely than women to have a career or education-related remorse.

Get out your woe-is-me hankie; here we go in order of popularity:

What else could be at the top of the list but love? Eighteen percent of people surveyed put a romantic relationship as their biggest regret in life. Did you break someone's heart? Was there an affair that never should have happened? And what about the one that got away? All there is is love, folks; no surprise that this tops the list of regrets.

Coming in at No. 2 is family-related regrets. Sixteen percent of people surveyed said family issues in the past should have been resolved much earlier than they had. Let's see a show of hands on this one — who remembers last Thanksgiving?

The third-highest rated regret was school-related. Thirteen percent of the respondents regretted not studying harder, not pursuing a different major in college, and not going to grad school. Which leads right into the fourth highest regret, career choices. Twelve percent of the participants regretted the career path they chose.

Next up with 10 percent, put money mistakes at the top of their regret list. What with Bernie Madoff, Doug Vaughan and the economy, making smart financial choices these days is like walking through a mine field.

Anyone who's been there knows parenting is the hardest job in the world, molding little people into productive, compassionate grown-ups. Nine percent of the people in the survey regretted something related to their kids. I'm surprised it's not 100 percent; don't we all have parental guilt about something we did and didn't do?

Six percent of people surveyed most regretted something about their health, such as not visiting the doctor more often, eating poorly, and not exercising. This one is preventable; the weather is beautiful now, put on those sneakers and get moving.

About 4 percent in the survey had friendship regrets. Letting a close friendship fade is common, given the relocating and career changes people do nowadays. I can happily report I have had my same best friend for the last 38 years. And we finally live in the same state again.

Spiritual regrets were top of the list for 3 percent of the people surveyed. Either not going to church or making choices that they later considered immoral seemed to weigh heavy on their hearts.

Wish you'd worked the polling places on Election Day or graded more papers in your child's classroom? Then you're among the 1.5 percent of respondents whose biggest regret was not volunteering more. Get involved. Volunteer.

Woulda, shoulda, coulda: What is your biggest regret?

Quote of the Week: "At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent." — Barbara Bush

College Life Isn't Quite What It Used To Be

As appeard in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho section Saturday, March 26, 2011

I was looking through some boxes in the garage the other day and getting caught up in old photographs for way longer than I had planned. You know how that goes, five minutes turns into half an hour, which turns into two hours, which makes you late for getting dinner on the table.

As I was going through a box of old letters and postcards, I came across a letter my dad wrote to me in March of 1979. It was my senior year in high school and we had been discussing colleges for the coming fall.

"Did you get the information I sent you on Ohio State," said the letter. "I still haven't received your application to Ohio University that you said you mailed. Are you sure you mailed it?"

I couldn't believe I still had the letter, written more than 30 years ago to a high school senior getting ready to take the next big step in life. I remember the time well, the anxiety of where I would go to college that fall. And my dad, who made sure I was going to college even when I insisted that a job at the mall would be just as fulfilling.

The timing couldn't have been better, as now it is my turn to push my high school senior out of the nest and into her next adventure in life.

High school seniors across the country are on pins and needles right now, awaiting word from the many colleges and universities they've applied to, hoping for that one magical word, "WELCOME."

Last week my daughter, her girlfriend and I went down to University of New Mexico and took the campus tour for potential students. After a short slide show and very informative grad student speaker, we all hopped on the little red trolley and headed for the main campus.

With each building we passed, I could see the anxiety in their faces slowly turn to enthusiasm as the girls began to see that this new experience in front of them just might be doable. But not living with a stranger in a tiny dorm room; that obstacle needed more reassurance.

"Why can't we just get an apartment together?" they asked.

"Because an apartment costs much more than living on campus. Besides, you need to get the full college experience, and that includes dorm living, cafeteria food, learning to do everything for yourself and bonding with other freshmen who don't have a clue either," I said.

My niece will be starting her junior year at the University of Colorado at Boulder this fall. She told my brother she was done with the sorority house and wanted to get an apartment for next year. They have actually been considering establishing residency in Colorado so as to avoid paying the exorbitant out-of-state tuition, so the idea wasn't so off the wall to my brother.

"That sounds good, honey," said my brother. "We can get back early next year and go to the used furniture store."

"Used furniture?" said my niece, in shock. "I am not buying used furniture. That's what I have now."

Whatever happened to milk crate book cases and wooden utility spools for coffee tables? Not anymore. Just add it to the list with books, clothing, food, and all the other expenses involved when it comes to college.

Meanwhile, how much did you say tuition was?

Quote of the Week: "College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?" — David Wood

Too Much of a Green Thing Can Backfire

As appeared in the Albuqueque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, March 12, 2011


"I hope there's not a corned beef in that bag," said my eldest daughter last week as I was carrying in the first load of groceries from the car.

"Of course there is, honey," I said, knowing full well that even the smell of the celebratory roast is enough to evoke her gag reflex.

"I also bought the cabbage, carrots and potatoes; it's St. Patrick's Day next week," I twinkled. I gave up on the "just one bite" years ago when I knew it was more than a casual dislike with her, as is pot roast.

St. Patrick's Day brings many tricks and innocent pranks on the children in your house; just ask mine, who have lived through everything from green milk at breakfast to green mashed potatoes at dinner.

Green milk and mashed potatoes, yes, I may go overboard on this holiday, but with names like Cochran, Smalley and Rafferty in my family tree, and my mother calling me Guinevere (a Welsh variant of Jennifer) my entire childhood, the holiday is rather hard to ignore. Or maybe I use it as an excuse to celebrate.

One of the coldest St. Patty's days I've ever spent was down in the Flats of Cleveland. The name reflects its low topography on the banks of the Cuyahoga River, and in mid-March you can bet the breezes weren't balmy. Fagan's, a local Irish pub near the water, was the place to be on St. Patrick's Day in the early '80s. And although the winds off the lake were enough to make your teeth rattle, the company inside was warm enough to make up for it.

When my daughters were little, St. Patrick's Day was a day of fun and mischief in our house. They woke up one year to the amazement of green painted fingernails on their little hands. Once out of bed, they followed a trail of lucky pennies out of their rooms and down the stairs to the kitchen where green shamrock-shaped pancakes awaited them.

The innocent pranks left an indelible mark on my little one, though, for the following year she remembered the little elf's antics and would not go to sleep in her own bed for fear of the "green leprechaun man" who would be coming into her room that night. Note to mommies: Too much of a good thing can backfire.

Don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tonight. It will take us all at least a week to recover from the time change. At least it's another step bringing us closer to spring.

Quote of the Week: "May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand." — traditional Gaelic blessing

Too Much of a Green Thing Can Backfire

As appeared in the Albuqueque Journal Rio Rancho section Saturday, March 12, 2011


"I hope there's not a corned beef in that bag," said my eldest daughter last week as I was carrying in the first load of groceries from the car.

"Of course there is, honey," I said, knowing full well that even the smell of the celebratory roast is enough to evoke her gag reflex.

"I also bought the cabbage, carrots and potatoes; it's St. Patrick's Day next week," I twinkled. I gave up on the "just one bite" years ago when I knew it was more than a casual dislike with her, as is pot roast.

St. Patrick's Day brings many tricks and innocent pranks on the children in your house; just ask mine, who have lived through everything from green milk at breakfast to green mashed potatoes at dinner.

Green milk and mashed potatoes, yes, I may go overboard on this holiday, but with names like Cochran, Smalley and Rafferty in my family tree, and my mother calling me Guinevere (a Welsh variant of Jennifer) my entire childhood, the holiday is rather hard to ignore. Or maybe I use it as an excuse to celebrate.

One of the coldest St. Patty's days I've ever spent was down in the Flats of Cleveland. The name reflects its low topography on the banks of the Cuyahoga River, and in mid-March you can bet the breezes weren't balmy. Fagan's, a local Irish pub near the water, was the place to be on St. Patrick's Day in the early '80s. And although the winds off the lake were enough to make your teeth rattle, the company inside was warm enough to make up for it.

When my daughters were little, St. Patrick's Day was a day of fun and mischief in our house. They woke up one year to the amazement of green painted fingernails on their little hands. Once out of bed, they followed a trail of lucky pennies out of their rooms and down the stairs to the kitchen where green shamrock-shaped pancakes awaited them.

The innocent pranks left an indelible mark on my little one, though, for the following year she remembered the little elf's antics and would not go to sleep in her own bed for fear of the "green leprechaun man" who would be coming into her room that night. Note to mommies: Too much of a good thing can backfire.

Don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour tonight. It will take us all at least a week to recover from the time change. At least it's another step bringing us closer to spring.

Quote of the Week: "May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand." — traditional Gaelic blessing

Caution Thrown to the Wind for This Column

As appeared in the Albuquerque Journal, Rio Rancho section Saturday, February 26, 2011

Has the warmer weather brightened up your days lately? Just to feel the warmth of the sun on your back, and breathe in 60-degree air brings back memories of last summer, pinkish sunsets, burgers on the grill and Gordon Lightfoot on the stereo.

But don't let this springlike weather fool you; it's just the calm before the storm. March is such a changeable month: We can see warm temperatures or late season snowstorms. We are turning on the heat in our cars in the morning and the air conditioning in the afternoon. I say March is going to live up to its reputation by coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb.

An idiom is a figurative expression, word or phrase. How many idioms did you notice in that previous paragraph?

There seems to be a significant amount of idioms having to do with weather. The majority of idioms characterize either very low or very high temperatures. And extremely high temperatures, for instance, are described as hot as in hell, right?

I threw caution to the wind and tried to find as many weather related idioms as I could, and courtesy of usingenglish.com, I had it made in the shade. May the following weather related idioms take you by storm.

If something happens unexpectedly and suddenly, it is a bolt from the blue.

If someone chases rainbows, they try to do something that they will never achieve.

If you are on cloud nine, you are extremely happy.

If a cloud of suspicion hangs over an individual, it means that they are not believed or are distrusted.

If you can see a problem ahead, you can call it a cloud on the horizon.

If something or someone is having a dry spell, they aren't being as successful as they normally are.

A fair-weather friend is the type who is always there when times are good but forgets about you when things get difficult or problems crop up.

If you get wind of something, you hear or learn about it.

If something or someone moves like greased lightning, they move very fast indeed.

If a person has their head in the clouds, they have unrealistic, impractical ideas.

If you hit rough weather, you experience difficulties or problems.

If you're in a fog, you are confused, dazed or unaware.

Into each life some rain must fall. This means that bad or unfortunate things will happen to everyone sometime.

When it rains it pours, means that when things go wrong, they go very wrong.

If everything has frozen in winter, then Jack Frost has visited.

If someone rains on your parade, they ruin your pleasure or your plans.

If someone is seven sheets to the wind, they are very drunk.

When you shoot the breeze, you chat in a relaxed way.

If someone steals your thunder, they take the credit and praise for something you did.

When people throw caution to the wind, they take a great risk.

If you are feeling a bit ill, sad or lack energy, you are under the weather.

If you weather a storm, you get through a crisis or hard times.

Quote of the Week: "It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: When it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." — Charles Dickens.